by Dr. Miriam Adahan
OVERCOMING A
TERROR
MENTALITY
The horror was unimaginable. Long lines of Holocaust
victims stood awaiting the dreaded selection by the arch
villain of Auschwitz, Dr. Joseph Mengele, ym”sh. He stood
arrogantly with his polished boots and white gloves,
taking only seconds to determine each victim’s fate. With a
callous flick of his thumb he sent those he deemed useful
to the right, which meant life, while children, the weak, old,
pregnant, handicapped or “useless” were sent to the left, to
the gas chambers.
away from a “bad person/friend/
neighbor.” But very early in life, we
take this far beyond the safe/unsafe
level and begin to think, “Different is
defective.”
By the age of three, children size
each other up, seeking to befriend
those who are powerful and popular.
They feel unbearable shame if they are
“Mengalized” by someone who says,
“Eewee” about an item of clothing
they are wearing or “Yich” about a
food no one else is eating.
By age six, they know that the
brilliant kids get all the glory, while
the losers are sent to the left and
ignored or punished. They know that
the class king/queen dictates the dress
code and decides who is “in” and who
is “out.” They instinctively conform to
those dictates to avoid the “Mengeleyes” that turn them into objects of
derision and exclusion. Children also
learn self-loathing from the media
and advertisers, who imply that they’ll
The Inner Judge
I do not mean to trivialize this
monster’s horrific actions. Yet our
Sages say that we possess a “dust” of
the traits we see in others. In truth,
we all possess an inner judge which
turns others into dust and ashes,
if only mentally. In our homes,
schools, stores, social events and
shuls, we judge people. It’s as natural
as breathing. Within seconds,
we perform a mental selection,
flicking them to the right (“S/he is
successful, good looking, smart, rich,
accomplished, at my religious level, a
member of my social group,” etc.) or
left (“S/he is ugly, weird, stupid, fat,
not at my religious level, not in my
social group, a loser, wears the wrong
shoes or the wrong hat, etc.).
Judgments have a purpose.
We do need to evaluate others as
safe - physically, emotionally, and
spiritually. After all, in our morning
prayers, we ask Hashem to keep us
March 7, 2014
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