EXTRA ! EXTRA !
November 14th , 1851
Harper and Bros . publishes
Moby Dick , by Herman Melville . This whale of a tale is sure to keep scholars busy for years ( which is what it takes to read the etymology and epigraphs that open this novel — if you even bother ). The story then disappointingly starts with a line no less original than something overheard at any dinner party . “ Call me Ishmael .” Really ? That ’ s the best Melville could do ? It ’ s like reading bad Emily Post . We are confident no English Major would pad their paper like this in an obvious effort to meet some minimum word count requirement . Thus , English Departments everywhere , including OU , are officially shipping this text off to the Psychology Department . One Professor , preferring to be referred to as Ink-so , has been reputed to say , “ We ’ re at sea as to why anyone would read this . Quite personally , I would rather Taylor [ sic ] my scholarly efforts toward ‘ Swift-er ’ channels .”
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