"In the grand scheme of life, almost everything else is meaningless when weighed against the desire I have to protect them and give them a good life"
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In 2013, Aria Cinai Hernandez joined the family, bringing with her the hope for a future KDChi legacy! It was carrying Aria that helped prepare Akisha for the nevitable personality differences she would witness in her children. “With Isaac craved Taco Bell Taco Supremes – I know, it’s horrible, but I needed it! Aria couldn’t get far enough away from them. All she wanted were eggs and waffles. I even adjusted my commute to work to make sure Iwould pass by a Denny’s or McDonalds."
With baby number two, Akisha changed the way she prepared and cared for her baby. “I let myself relax. Hopefully it benefited both of them, but I definitely let go of the preconceived ideas I had about what I will/won’t do. Sometimes things work out best when you just roll with whatever comes at you.”
She admits that while times can be tough when you’re not getting enough sleep or the kids are going
in different directions, there is nothing that she would rather be doing than having those little mommy moments. “Watching them sleep or discover something new. As soon as they can
talk, it’s the random things they say that show you the person they are becoming. In those moments I feel blessed and honored to have the chance to be a part of their lives.”
Another devastating miscarriage occurred in the fall of 2014. Akisha wasn’t sure she was 100% ready for baby number three, but she felt blessed and just happy to be pregnant. “At our 10 week, ultrasound, when the nurse left the room without showing us the image, I knew.” They were asked if they wanted to wait it out, take a pill or schedule a procedure to
physically remove the fetus from her womb. “I waited, and got to hold my baby to say goodbye. With the ectopic and the first miscarriage, they were early, so there weren’t a lot of plans. With this last miscarriage, we had a due date and started discussing how to help the kids adjust.”
Through it all, Akisha believes things happen for a reason. “I sometimes doubted it would ever
happen, but I have been blessed to carry 5 children, and I
know 3 of them are watching over our family from a better place. There are women who
yearn for just one and never get to experience it, so I am thankful for each of them and whatever time I am given to be with them.”
On advice she would give sisters hoping to have a family of their own in 5-10 years, Akisha says “Start taking care of yourself now. Whether that’s lowering your stress, improving your finances, or addressing any adverse health factors, start making changes in your life that will better prepare you to handle the demands of a family. Oh, and log as much sleep as you can!” She added, “Lots of
people will want to give you advice. Every mother and every pregnancy is different. Listening to them is polite, but it doesn’t mean you have to follow their path. Trust your instincts. Being a mother, however that comes to you, triggers instincts you didn’t even know you had. Do what you feel is right for you and your family, and everything will work out.
During the hardest times, there are a few sisters who remained close to Hernandez, and talking with them definitely helped, she said. “I started sharing with others and figured out there are so many of us, and this is so much more common than we know. I just started thinking that this is what we are about – sisterhood. I felt so alone, and to know now that I wasn’t, gives me some comfort, but I want to do something so that other sisters will know in that moment that they are not alone, in whatever it is they are going through. Your sisters in KDChi love you, and trust that someone has been through a similar experience. Lean on one another.”
Akisha Hernandez is an alumna of the Beta chapter at Texas A&M University. She is a former national president of Kappa Delta Chi and is currently the Vice Chair of Finance for the Board of Directors of Kappa Delta Chi.