The Elm 2016-2017 2017 The Elm Literary Magazine

UNIQUE by Phairah I glance around the overflowing lunchroom and immediately everything stops. All I can hear is my heart beating and the voice inside my head shouting at me to turn around. I don’t belong here I think as I examine my peers. I feel each and every one of them laughing and gawking at me. I’m not one of them; I’m too white for the black kids and too black for the white kids. Nothing about me fits either of their standards. My hair too “nappy” the way I speak too “proper” I look “Eurocentric” with skin of an “exotic color.” I am force-fed all of these descriptions of me like a toddler, not once have I had a say in the way people view me. But how do I educate people on everything me when I don’t even know myself. Growing up the one person who is supposed to show you how beautiful and special you are as a young girl is your father. But he was gone with the wind, nowhere to be found. This left me alone, this left me confused, this left me angry, this left me insecure. The one man who is supposed to love me unconditionally doesn’t want me so how could anyone else. But standing in the front of this lunchroom for I don’t know how long, has made me realize something. I am unique. So here I am again standing in the same crowded lunchroom the next day. But this time my head is held high and there is an air of confidence around me. I finally know who I am, and no one can take that knowledge away from me. I am unique. 12 Self Portrait Kristian Fields 12th Grade Mixed media and graphite 13

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