August – Welcome the dog days of summer
What is shame? It is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love. Shame loves perfectionists! (Yes I was one) Simple reasons shame is so difficult to talk about is vocabulary. We often use embarrassment, guilt, humiliation and shame interchangeably. Shame is a full
contact emotion! Shame is universal, no one is exempt. Shame likes to hide, shame loves the darkness. We have no trouble talking about fear and anger, shame remains taboo. Shame is a silent epidemic we do not talk about. We experience it, we feel it, we sometimes live with
it for an entire lifetime, but we don’t talk about it. Shame is that feeling in the pit of your stomach that is dark and hurts like hell. You can’t talk about it, you can’t articulate how bad it feels because then everyone would know you
“dirty little secret” It’s when we feel shame or the fear of shame that we are more likely to engage in self destructive behaviours to attack or humiliate others or to stay quiet when we see someone who needs our help. I want to build shame resilience through empathy,
courage, compassion and connection. And not live in fear, blame and disconnect. Empathy is sitting with someone in their pain and bridging a connection with “I understand – I’ve been there, its ok your normal and that’s happened to me too (the “me too” movement started form that very phrase!) Empathy plays a huge role in this, the skill or ability to tap into our own
experiences in order to connect with an experience someone is relating to us. Shame works off two tapes in your head “Never good enough” & “Who do you think you are?” Shame comes in many forms, being laid off or fired? Hiding an addiction, raging at my kids, covering up a mistake at work, failing at my business. Me
too! If you’re struggling and need guidance, healing or intuitive coaching…please reach out!
Send me an email: [email protected] and
let’s talk!