By KAYLA C . TIPPLE , Esq . Schipani & Norman , P . A .
Another Mother ’ s Day is fast approaching , which usually conjures warm and fuzzy feelings towards the moms in our lives ( which we may not always have at other times of the year ), but family law always has its way of making the best of holidays , messy , to say the least .
Many times , in parenting disputes , we get caught up fighting over which parent gets which holiday . This can be a claws out , ferocious battle in some cases . You would think that of all of the holidays to fight over , it would be a safe assumption to say that Mother ’ s Day and Father ’ s Day are undisputedly going to mom and dad respectively . However , it is not always quite as simple as that , because people are not as simple as that .
So what variations are there ? For starters , there is sometimes a dispute over the timeframe to celebrate the holidays . Some families only celebrate on actual Mother ’ s Day . Others prefer to celebrate with a “ Mother ’ s Day Weekend .” Still others just want an hour or two for a meal on Mother ’ s Day and not the entire day . So , depending on the family , what is usually a “ given ” could end up consuming more time than anyone would like .
One mediation , not too long ago , we argued for nearly an hour over a “ Mother ’ s Day WEEK ” that the mom insisted she was entitled to receive . Not only did she want the children for this entire week , she wanted her soon to be ex-husband to commit in writing to providing the children an allowance for gifts . Plural . She wanted a gift every single day during this weeklong celebration of her mothering . She went so far as to ask that it be written into the Parenting Plan that dad would wrap all of the gifts until the children were of a suitable age to wrap them on their own . In case you are wondering , he did not agree to that , though I sincerely hope he helps his kids wrap
Kayla C . Tipple , Esq . Schipani & Norman , P . A .
FAMILY LAW
MOTHER ’ S DAY AND THE LAW
Holiday provides fodder for visitation disputes
Anna Jarvis , the founder of Mother ’ s Day , believed that a mother is “ the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world .”
at least one present for her as I am sure it mattered a great deal to her . Contrast that to another case where the mom held fast to her belief that Mother ’ s Day meant that she should have the day off from the children . She believed that she was a mother first and foremost every single day of her life and that for just one day of the year , she should be able to put it to the back of her mind and only focus on herself . I had never heard that one before , but I suppose there must be others that hold this belief too . As my own mother says , it takes all kinds . It was not so farfetched , and the father in that case was happy to oblige , until he realized she also expected him to take Father ’ s Day off , and then the gloves came off for another battle over what should be a simple holiday to designate . She believed , and argued , that having that day off from being a parent was important to the mental health of both of them as parents . While she initially sounded selfish , when we dug a bit deeper it turned out the idea was not as outlandish as we originally thought .
Once we can get past the time frames you might think the issue is settled . Most of the time it is . However , there is always a case or two that takes it a bit further . When you think about it , do we really just celebrate our own mothers on this day ? What about grandmothers ? Aunts ? Our siblings and cousins that have become mothers throughout the years ? In-laws ? Some families like to have big celebrations , others just keep it to their own immediate family . This is not usually an issue until the children ’ s time must be divided between the two parents , and then things can get complicated if we let them .
We also cannot forget about stepmoms . Sometimes , a stepmom is as close or closer to the children then their own mother , and the father will go to bat for her getting some time on this holiday as well . After all , she fills the roll of mom usually half of the time . Rarely does this go over well with the mom and I gently encourage the dads in this situation to let it go and celebrate a different day . But to be fair , there are amazing stepmoms out there that deserve our thanks and admiration on this special holiday .
It is certainly no secret that we are all different . All of these stories , and the stories you have for your own families , have meaning and value . We do not live in a one-sizefits-all world and there is not a right way or a wrong way to celebrate this holiday . So , this Mother ’ s Day , celebrate the way that fits you and your family . Celebrate the moms that matter and that have made a difference to you .
Anna Jarvis , the founder of Mother ’ s Day , believed that a mother is “ the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world .” I would not be who or where I am today without my own mother , so for me , this day will be about her ( but for us , it is a “ Mother ’ s Day Weekend ”). Whoever that person is for you , your mother , your stepmother , your grandmother , an aunt , a close friend , a sibling , even a father that filled the role of mom for you , may your Mother ’ s Day celebrations be safe , fun , and cheerful this year !
The Docket · May 2021 13