Lessons
FOR MY DAUGHTER,
LESSONS FOR MY YOUNGER SELF
Oh, the joys of parenting. Especially when parenting our daughters who, may I be frank with you mamas, are simply younger versions of ourselves, at different stages of our lives. Let that last part sink in,“ at different stages of our lives”. Perhaps you didn’ t have that much sass at her age, but did you have it, at any age? Or maybe it’ s not sass you’ re dealing with and instead it’ s secrecy, lust, deceit, loneliness, isolation, anxiety, low self-worth or depression.
By Adrienne Dawkins-Smith
When I realize at some point in my life, I may have faced what my daughters are now facing, I’ m overtaken by compassion, patience and understanding. We often see memes asking us to give advice to our younger selves. For those raising young ladies, we have the privilege of giving this advice and guidance in real life. Don’ t take it for granted. So, what do our queens in the making need to know?
For one, mamas please know that good health should be paramount. It’ s not simply what we tell them, but more importantly what we show them. I encourage you to be more physically active and to make it fun! Learn something new together. I started my 17-year-old on a 10 pass gym membership. Her 1st few sessions were challenging, but by her 7th, she started to look forward to it and proved she was ready for an annual pass. She’ s learning it’ s not about the numbers on the scale and having an IG model body. It’ s about how she feels after accomplishing a new physical goal. Physical fitness also increases muscle growth which is essential for young women. It’ s also been documented to improve one’ s mood, which strengthens your emotional, mental and spiritual health. We cook together too, and my 9-year-old is the sous chef! I encourage you to find recipes you can try at home. It’ s amazing to watch them take pride in their temples and to know I am doing the work with them. You can do this too mamas, just take that first step, it’ s all about choice.
Speaking of choice, it’ s paramount our young ladies understand that there is power in their choices! As moms we may feel as if we know best, and quite often we do, but how are our daughters going to strengthen their muscles of discernment, responsibility and selflove if not given the opportunities to make their own decisions? Wow, that really hit home for me. I’ m not sure if I’ m writing this article for you or if it’ s serving as a reminder for myself … and that is a beautiful thing. As we allow our daughters to explore the free will that God has granted us, they will see firsthand that their choices have rewards and consequences. Both the rewards and consequences serve as meaningful teaching moments. As we listen to their words, we are actually listening to their hearts. It’ s ok mamas, breathe, even when they fall, they got this because we know God has them.
As our young ladies continue to grow, there will come a day when they are ready for marriage. What have we told them, taught them and shown them? Do they understand who they marry matters? Our daughters often lean towards dating young men who have similar qualities as their dads. What qualities are being shown at home? Do they see mutual respect being displayed? Do they see affection and joy? Do they see mutual support and true friendship? Encourage our daughters not to settle, to be what it is that they want to attract, and to trust God in the process.
Adrienne Dawkins-Smith Certified Wellness Coach Certified Breathwork Coach Certified Stretch & Flexibility Coach
Whether they will ever say it or not, our daughters need us and the lessons we share will prayerfully, reside in them forever. If no one else has said it lately, allow me to do so,“ Great Job Mamas & Thank you!”
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