By Shaunte L. Sparks
Sit, Sis. Sit. I don’ t know who needs to hear this, but you are only ONE person. You were called by God; yet, you are not God with a capital“ G.” Yes, you are the greatest expression of Father pressed out into flesh; however, you. Are. Not. HIM. The FULLness of Him, I mean. Therefore, sit, Sis. Sit. This is a temporary part of your story, it is not the totality of it. Hence, remembering who you are is essential to moving through this phase of your journey without getting stuck.
As women, we allow ourselves to become stuck in / recycle patterns that don’ t serve us. Serving others is one of the patterns. Hint, hint … Don’ t misunderstand, there is nothing wrong with serving, so long as we examine our motives for doing so. If motives are pure and led by Father, have at it. However, if they stem from some unhealed trauma or part of your childhood, Baby beware.
Pause, Sis. Pause. As a caregiver, we are stretched beyond what we thought was our capacity. It can be overwhelming, frustrating, and can even build resentment and bitterness if we’ re not mindful, aware, and honest. And for those of us who find ourselves in what has been labeled as this“ sandwich generation,” may God help us. God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, along with Father Abraham, Sarah, Michael, and all the other guardian angels. Being parent to little ones while reparenting your parents is HARD work. Let’ s not forget our work / career. Or try to add a personal life to the mix. Exhausted yet? Me too.
To ensure we don’ t burn out, I learned from the School of Hard Knocks that one must stay true to who she is. You have to engage in hard conversations with yourself and those within your circle. Challenge yourself to say the quiet part( s) aloud, without remorse. Feel all the things; good, bad, and indifferent. Find what works best for YOU, your loved one( s), and your family. Do not self-sacrifice for the greater good of family or for fear of what others may say or think. Be true to you. Though Father is a Redeemer of time, certain moments are irreplaceable.
Breathe, Sis. Breathe. Create consistent time for you. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. ~ Genesis 2:2
No one benefits when you’ re in burn out mode. No one. Let’ s be honest, you can barely stand yourself in this stage. Thus, taking time out for you to do things that help you to relax, relate, and release benefits all parties involved, and most importantly, YOU. Try a dance, exercise, and / or painting class. Try journaling on a consistent basis to clear your head. Do you like nature? Incorporate walking and / or hiking or gardening. Do you like fellowshipping with others outside of church? Join a club. There are many ways for us to give our spirits the nourishment it needs. We must deem ourselves worthy of indulging in such activities. Otherwise, we may end up doing the opposite of loving and assisting our loved one( s).
Sit. Pause. Breath, Sis. Yes, your loved one is worthy of adequate care that is kind and attentive. However, you owe it to yourself to define what that actually looks like even if you did rush right in to save the day. You are allowed to define and redefine boundaries, if necessary. Respite care is real. Check it out. Know your options. Go to Abba Father. Share with Him your findings, revelations, feelings, hurts, disappointments, thanksgivings, and praise. Ask Him to reveal the lesson( s) you are to learn in and through this journey. Be prepared to be wowed. And remember, all things are working together for your highest good.
Wishing you more, Shaunté L. Sparks
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