Order
Breaking up with a white canvas is always a daunting prospect when you start a piece of work .
The pure space challenges you to leave it alone . There is something about its blank square that already feels complete and somewhat of an act of disturbance to mess it up .
Because of this I have to trick myself into the first step . I go with the sense of disruption by doing something messy and ‘ wrong ’. It breaks the purity and allows me to begin , without worrying about creating something as perfect as the white square .
With this piece I began with scraping plaster with my fingers across the surface in a circular pattern , and by doing so , immediately extruding the surface from flat , outwards into a sculptural plane . I scratch further into the channels made by my fingers with a stick or the side of the palette knife .
In my mind ’ s eye I am imagining my character Brave New Girl doing her daily meditation walk , round and round in circles before trailing off towards the edge of the canvas , off on her next adventure . Still the plaster is white against the white gesso of the primer ; it is calming but still too flat ; not enough of a narrative , nothing deeper to read into .
And so I feel ready to start painting .
Acrylic at first ; in random brushstrokes and vibrant colours . I create chaos . It ’ s freeing to paint with wild abandon , with no notion as to any particular outcome . The plaster circle forces certain marks but otherwise there are no constrictions . I am liberated at this stage to make as many ‘ mistakes ’ as I please , the more the better . If I like a painting too soon it ’ s usually disaster ; it means I finish too early and the painting is flat and soulless . It ’ s best when I hate the results of this layer , the plasticity , the colours , the chaos ; but because acrylic dries quickly , I can move on to the next layer before I become too disheartened .
Now it ’ s time to work with oils . There is something deeply satisfying about working in oil . It ’ s texture , it ’ s viscosity ; the way it slides into place . I prefer to work with sponges and rags , rather than a brush with oils . Partly because I haven ’ t the patience to clean my brushes properly but mainly because I like the direct contact that rags give my fingers to the paint and canvas . Even though I wear rubber gloves , it feels better to work closer to the paint rather than from the end of a stick . However , at first , I mix the paint with a cold wax medium to thicken it and use a palette knife to drag it across the surface , leaving pockets and pitted glimpses of the colored layer below .
In this piece I am using shades of off-white . I want to return the piece to calm from the chaos of the colours .
I want to create order and a sense of peace . Like my daily meditation ‘ enso ’ ink drawings , which are calligraphied circles on white paper , I decide that the circle on this painting will be a deep indigo , nearly black against the whites .
The final result is a simple dark circle on white ; the focus in one ’ s mind ’ s eye on the balancing of life between chaos and order .