The Dark Sire Issue 3 (Spring 2020) | Page 43

mother-fucker, shit,” I say. The woman gasps. “He’s not saying truck,” the man says, laughing. “Don never swears.” “Yes, I do,” I say. * * * My wife tells me I’m different. “Than what?” I say “Than before.” The crease in her forehead deepens, and as I stare at her, I wonder if she’s always had the dark puffy circles beneath her eyes. For eight months she’s been saying the same thing, and it makes me crazy. There isn’t a reference point inside for me to compare. It’s not like I lost a limb, there aren’t any phantom feelings to draw upon. When I look at my reflection, it’s me looking back. Inside and out. How can I fix something that doesn’t seem broken? “I’m not saying it to judge or hurt your feelings.” She turns down the TV and, snuggling close to me on our living room sofa, rests her hand on my lap. She 41