The Dark Sire Issue 3 (Spring 2020) | Page 24

another’s. I remember when the moon signaled romance instead of morning. I remember lying in a bed, my love at my side. Now, I lie in a coffin, a dead man who will never die. There is no gift in eternal life when you cannot live. Hiding from the sun, dreading daylight, thirsting for only blood. Why did this curse not take my memory? Why take the most human part of me yet leave my heart to yearn, my senses to relive the simple joys of the living? How much easier it would be to abide the moon and sleep alone in the cool, damp bed of earth if the warmth of her skin, the smell of her hair, if the vibration of innocence and the longing to touch for pure joy were not pressed in my soul. Soul…perhaps the curse has taken that, as well. A soul would have no place in a corpse who is not a corpse. If there is a soul within me still, at least I am sure this curse has blackened it, for whatever soul remains in this unholy body is guilty of unspeakable things, guilty and burdened and bound to the horror of an existence beyond my control. I am not a monster. I am a man condemned. Removed from the sun, I lie in shadows that hide me not only from light, but also from love. I crouch within this curse hiding from all that is alive until my very hunger, my very thirst drives me from the shadows to kill. I detest my own deeds. Yet, the curse prevents me from denying this ugly hunger for unholy meals. I hate what I need. I hate that the need surpasses my own power. I hate that I no longer reign over my own will. I hate that I know the difference between what I do and what I want to do. What 22