consequences would be . I felt them ripple throughout time and bounce back like an echo . I marked that moment in my mind , the deep gut feeling of regret and upset settling in with cold little ripples across my skin . A warning to future selves that one small action could change the course of a child ’ s plans so carefully held and most excitedly looked forward to . Sitting there on the floor on my knees that were speckled with the little indents from the carpet , I closed my eyes and told myself to remember this moment , to never forget . To know that any small decision can curve the path my life might take .
I was there laying in bed tracing the lines in the face of the one I loved . Soaking in the reflection of light that showed off the dazzling brightness of his eyes . I already knew then that somewhere in the future another me is no longer with him . The feeling tugged at me like a yarn leading me out of a forest to a future unknown . I knew then that I would miss those things about him and should spend the time remembering him . I placed my flag in the page of time for when I would need to return to it . I spent time memorizing the shapes and crinkles around his eyes and ears . How the speckles of gray in his hair and beard were like highlights of light blinking in the dim shadows of the room . The vague smell of his deodorant and the warmth he emitted when we touched were pressed upon me like imprints . Suddenly the moment was gone and time had moved on .
It was soon , too soon . I watched him as he died . A bookmark set in time by emotion against my will . To see a father I stopped loving long ago withered before me . I
16