Losing Myself
I have become numb to it all.
Attractions are now distractions.
Distractions are now just the actions when they get too close.
No longer wishing to impose myself on someone else,
I want to go back on the shelf.
I want to be returned to its rightful owner.
If my heart can no longer be fixed then I no longer want to be a donor.
No trade in or loaners.
Feelings have taken over.
I allow myself to sit idle.
I am no longer confident in the Bible.
And survival is hard enough because I am not on TV.
No one wishes to be me.
No one wishes to see me.
But at the same time I am confined.
Losing my mind slowly but surely,
But when they applaud me I receive life.
And even though death may be the final price,
I am living now.
Poetry has taught me how to survive.
Not just to live but to come alive.
It has sparked a passion in my eyes.
And the prize is life.
It is to breath, believe, achieve, succeed, but I bleed.
I slowly heal.
My life can’t be real.
I just want to wake and get a break from it all.
No phone calls,
No visits at all,
But I am ok.
Because I was born this way,
And up to this present day, I am still alone.
But still I slowly heal.