October 17 , 2024 The Beacon • 21

By Jen Jones

For The Beacon

When someone you care about is in an accident or is going through a serious illness like cancer , it can be hard to know what to do to help them . You want to show your support but don ’ t want to bother the person by asking what they need . Below are suggestions to help anyone facing a difficult time .

Tracy Jones was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago .

“ I really appreciated the texts and cards that people sent throughout the months of recovery and treatments . My school family made sure I received several cards each week while I was recovering from surgery , and other friends and family also sent me well-wishes on a regular basis . Just knowing other people cared enough to take the time to reach out brightened my days and lifted my spirits ,” Jones said .

Emily Gephart also said the cards and messages she received while going through cancer treatments helped her .

“ I read those cards and messages over and over again ,” she said .

She also said knowing so many people were praying for her helped her during her treatments .

“ When I was recovering from my liver transplant , one of the things I treasured was daily visits from friends and family . I actually made sure I had someone come and see me every day . That would always make the days go faster and helped keep my spirits up ,” Brett Bantum said .

Jorryn Wentz said having visitors and getting cards and balloons helped her recovery . “ I also enjoyed receiving coloring books and word searches to help recovery time go a little faster ,” she said .

Wendy Croy ’ s son Cody has spent a lot of time in the hospital . She said having

meals provided to her husband and other kids while she was in Columbus with Cody really helped her .

Having true friends helped Bud Spang during his recovery .

Cherie Reveal said , “ Meals and knowing family members that rely on me were taken care of ( helped the most ).”

Sandy Hardesty ’ s granddaughter Drayvn was hospitalized for several weeks last winter . She said , “ Gift cards , food cards , gifts , get-well cards , all of the prayers , messages , phone calls , help and support from friends and family , Ridgewood School District , and especially the Coshocton Career Center — I cannot thank everyone enough while Drayvn was in the hospital .”

Be ready to listen . Your friend may not want to talk about their illness at all . They may want to talk about the latest movie they ’ ve seen or book they have read . If they do want to talk , just listen . Don ’ t try to give advice unless they ask for it . They may just need to talk without worrying about being judged . Emotional support is very important .

Sending a short text or a card can brighten someone ’ s day , and they can look at it again when they need . Drop off a basket of puzzle books , magazines or other activities that might help pass the time . Pick up groceries or prepare meals that can be frozen and heated as they are needed .

Offer to drive their children to events or take their pets for a walk . Pick up medications or offer to do yard work . Clean their house or do laundry .

Above all , be patient . You can ’ t be sure how they are handling things so don ’ t take anything personally . It ’ s hard for many people to ask for or accept help . Remind your loved one you are thinking about them and are ready to help in any way they may need .

CANCER

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were praying for me and sending me cards ,” Gephart said .

She said the support of family and friends meant so much .

“ And you have to selfadvocate . A friend of mine was dealing with cancer too , and he said to stay off on the internet , but you have to educate yourself and ask questions . I ’ m sure my doctors got tired of my questions ,” Gephart said . “ You have to talk to your doctor about how you feel and ask questions to get what you need .”

Gephart said she has a pile of cards nearly a foot tall from people in the community . “ I will tell you I read those cards and the messages inside over and over and over again . Those cards helped more than I can say ,” she said .

She also said you need to have a sense of humor at times . She didn ’ t want to wear a wig , but she had a grandson graduating from college and a granddaughter graduating from high school last spring .

“ I didn ’ t want them to look at their graduation pictures and only think , ‘ That ’ s when Grandma was sick .’ So I got a wig ,” Gephart said .

She didn ’ t wear it much , but she did wear it to another grandson ’ s baseball game .

“ It was hot , and by the end of the game , I could feel sweat running under that thing . I couldn ’ t wait to get to the car and get it off . As I was walking , a lady came up to me and said she loved the color of my hair . I wanted to rip it off my head and say , ‘ You can have it ,’” Gephart said . Another time , as she was leaving her doctor ’ s office , a woman asked her how she ever got her hair so short .

“ I told her two weeks of chemo and radiation . And then she reached up and touched my hair ,” Gephart said .

While a delayed mammogram may have saved her life , Gephart said , “ Get your mammograms , no matter what . Don ’ t ignore it because you don ’ t have insurance or you can ’ t pay . There are funds available . Call your doctor or clinic and tell them you need a mammogram and can ’ t afford it . They will help you . Please — I can ’ t stress this enough — get your mammograms , no matter what . It ’ s better to find out you have cancer when it ’ s still treatable than when it ’ s too late . Go get your mammograms .”

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