November 25 , 2021 The Beacon • 9
Tips to help you with changing family relationships
There is no normal , average , typical or ideal family . There is simply your family . Chances are your family has experienced some kind of change in the past few years . You may be grieving the loss of a loved one . You or your adult child may have gone through a divorce . In addition to loss , there may have been gain : marriages , new homes or babies born .
Throughout our lives we will experience change to our family structure . The holidays tend to be a big reminder that change has occurred . Some of us embrace change more readily than others . How we react to changes , the amount of flexibility we are willing to offer other family members and our willingness to possibly let go of former holiday
Emily Marrison
Columnist
traditions can be some of the best opportunities to display love this holiday season .
In-law factor
The weddings of our adult children can be such a happy time with everyone together from both his side and hers . But that is not how holidays are usually celebrated . Alisa Grace of the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships suggests new couples talk to each other openly and early about expectations when it comes to holidays . God designed marriage for couples to leave
and cleave . This means the new marriage relationship is priority over mom , dad and in-laws .
It is not realistic for parents to expect their adult children to be at every gathering , on the same day and at the exact same time as every year before . Be flexible and understand your adult children now have a larger world and larger family . It is one of the most loving things you can do , and it can set you up for many years of happy gatherings .
Divorce
Especially when there are younger children involved , holidays can bring challenges to coparenting . They also can bring opportunities for a parent ’ s positive and flexible attitude to impact what their children experience in a meaningful way . University of Minnesota Extension offers a few suggestions .
Remember there is more than a “ day ” in holiday . Allow your children to observe different facets of the holiday over more than one day . Consider occasionally allowing siblings to enjoy special alone time with a parent while the co-parent has the other child or children . And don ’ t let competition between parents become an undue burden for the kids . Trying to outdo each other with gifts and activities results in overindulged children and parents who are angry with each other .
Loss and grief
The first few holidays without a special loved one can be bittersweet
or downright painful . Resources from the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center encourage you to incorporate a time of remembrance into your celebration . This could be done in a variety of ways including having those who have gathered to share a story or memory of the person , light a candle , say special prayers , or keep photos close . You may consider suspending some holiday traditions if it seems too painful this year .
Extended family and friends want to be helpful and supportive , but we may not know how to respond to them in the moment . One suggestion is to make a list of what you need including needs for tangible support and emotional support . Get a stack of note cards and write down one item on each card . When people ask how they can help , hand them a note card or have them choose something they feel they can do . This also could include ways to pray for you .
Maybe your holiday season is shaping up to be a little more stable this year than years past . If so , be on the lookout for those who are adjusting to change , extend some encouragement to them and be grateful for the loved ones in your life .
Emily Marrison is an OSU Extension family and consumer sciences educator and may be called at 740-622-2265 .
NEED TO
ADVERTISE
ndrinko @ alonovus . com
Make sure you don ’ t miss The Plain & Simple Christmas in Ohio
Shopping Extravaganza
Friday
December 3 3PM-7PM
&
In the Dean Beechy Arena 8076 State Route 241 , Millersburg , Ohio 44654 In Mount Hope
Raffle Tickets
Saturday
December 4 8AM-3PM
for a free cordless large blower and a handy-sew cordless sewing buddy . 1 for $ 5 | 3 for $ 20 . Drawings every hour on the hour for free gifts . $ 2 entry fee 15 and under free .
FREE GIFT
for the first 50 guests both days .
Find one-of-a-kind gifts to please the pickiest person on your list . Find custom Chandeliers , 31 purses and bags , beautiful quilted small gifts , custom signs , cooking and baking gifts , toys , reclaimed furniture , succulents and unique houseplants and so much more .
IT ’ S RAFFLE TIME !
THE WARSAW LIONS CLUB IS HAVING A RAFFLE !
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic , we are not going to have our annual Variety Show .
That event raises about 80 % of the Club ’ s budget – which is then given to many groups and organizations in the community .
Drawing is December 14 . Tickets are $ 10 each or 3 for $ 25 . Visit our Facebook page for a list of items to be raffled . Follow us on Facebook for updates .
BF-00537288
BF-00537867
Please contact Jim Williamson – Raffle Chairperson – at 740-502-9611 for tickets or see any Warsaw Lions Club member .