6 • The Beacon November 23 , 2023

So many wonderful Christmas traditions involve large , loud gatherings or crowds at stores . When you have someone with autism , those are definitely not places you want to be ( Well , you want to be there , but it ’ s not always possible .)

Sensory meltdowns are real and can ruin a day quicker than almost anything .

We never had huge holiday parties . My family is small , and everyone understood if Rob or Casey needed to run upstairs to my or my brother ’ s old bedrooms for some quiet . So telling people we weren ’ t coming to their party wasn ’ t an issue when Casey and Rob were little . It ’ s actually more of a problem now . People just don ’ t seem to understand that just because they are adults , the autism didn ’ t go away . They still have the same needs ; they are just more capable of handling sensory needs now . But that took us years of practice , years of finding what they needed and years of hiding from the world .

We started our own traditions . I absolutely love holidays and birthdays and always want them to be special . I had to figure out how to give each of the kids a special time — within their abilities . It wasn ’ t always easy , but I think I managed to do it .

Now Casey and Rob are both more willing to try new places , especially if Mandy and Cory are with us , but we still need to be aware crowds will get to Rob quickly and that noises ( like fire trucks in a parade ) are painful to both of them . She is OK , usually , with temperatures , but he gets hot easily .

A crowded mall to see Santa is not an option for us . One year Casey got to see him in the parade , and — this completely amazed her — when we went to a local light show , Santa was sitting in a sleigh at the end . And he knew her name ! He waved and said , “ Hi Casey ! Hi Rob !” She couldn ’ t stop smiling and giggled the rest of the evening because he knew her and he said hi . ( I ’ m fairly certain Rob knew why Santa knew her name , but he didn ’ t ruin it for her .)

Last year ASK Autism invited Santa to visit us , and it was an amazing evening . Everyone had plenty of time for pictures , and Santa was so patient with everyone . We are lucky Santa has decided to visit us again this year . He will be at our Tuesday , Dec . 12 meeting . The meeting is at 6 p . m . and will be at the Coshocton County Career Center . If you have someone who wants to meet Santa but can ’ t wait in line in noisy places , come on over .

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Casey is like me and loves all things holiday . As a side note , I have to mark out all of the holidays calendars have printed in them because she wants to celebrate them all . She will start wearing Christmas shirts the day after Thanksgiving and will drop hints that she doesn ’ t have enough of them . Her calendar will be full of Christmas things to do : bake cookies , see a movie , several light shows , go shopping . The list in her head is always long , and she wants it all to happen . Luckily , none of it is impossible , and Rob is willing to do most of it too . ( He likes making ornaments , but he ’ s a one and done kind of guy .)

Look near you for drivethru light displays . There are so many near us that we rotate each year . And they aren ’ t expensive — even better . Plus , the drive-thru ones let your child feel safe while the rest of you can enjoy the displays . Check local zoos for sensory days . The Columbus Zoo has a huge light display , and several days throughout the season are designated as sensory friendly . The music is turned down , and all flashing strobe lights are turned off . Most places do something similar .

If you are invited to a party and want to take your child , just explain your needs to the hostess / host . Again , most people are happy to help — they just don ’ t know what you need until you ask for it . And if someone doesn ’ t want your child there , do you really want to be there ? I sure don ’ t . We are a package deal ( not that there aren ’ t times you need to go places alone to get a breather ). I mean do you want to be around someone who doesn ’ t accept your child ?

Or better yet , start your own party traditions . You can keep it small or invite the whole town . Rob and Casey never minded how many people were here because their rooms were off limits to guests . They always had their safe place to go to . Again , your child may be different . I can think of three or four young adults I know that would hate having their home invaded by guests .

My point is your Christmas doesn ’ t have to look like mine or your neighbor ’ s or the rest of your family to be an absolutely amazing , magical time . People seem to spend too much time comparing their lives to others and feeling bad when they aren ’ t “ keeping up .” But did you ever think other people may feel they aren ’ t keeping up with you ? Yes , your life with autism may be a lot different , but that doesn ’ t mean it isn ’ t an awesome life . You don ’ t know what others are thinking . Be proud of your family ’ s uniqueness . Flaunt it . Wake up the world .

Find the Christmas traditions that work for you — big , little or no party , shopping online or in stores . Visit holiday events or watch them on TV . Our lives are special , and any tradition you decide also will be special because it ’ s completely right for your family . As so many other people are running around like crazy trying to do everything and find the perfect gifts , you will be home quietly watching a Christmas movie in your PJs and drinking hot chocolate . Autism doesn ’ t ruin holidays — it can make them even more special .

For more autism stories , visit www . autismappleskoolaid . com or Facebook / Autism Apples Koolaid . ASK Autism meets monthly at the Coshocton County Career Center . Visit Facebook / ASK Autism or email coshoctonaskautism @ yahoo . com for more information .