34 • The Beacon May 16 , 2024

Please ask us your questions , we need the discussions

Tracie and I took Casey and Rob to the Richland Carousel a few years ago . None of us had ever been there , and because the day was chilly and rainy , something indoor seemed like a good plan . Casey and Rob both smile on carnival rides , so we were curious about how they would react with one that wasn ’ t quite as wild as what they usually liked . Autism can give things such a different perspective .

Despite a few twists and turns — we didn ’ t know they were having a Halloween parade that day and a bunch of streets were blocked off — we got to the park . Casey was thrilled with the gift shop — coloring books to look at ! But Rob took one look at the carousel , and he was ready to ride .

Tickets are very reasonable , and I wanted them to really experience the ride .

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Tracie and I each rode twice , and the kids rode a few more times . Their smiles were amazing , and I knew we had found something they both enjoyed . It was a little loud , so by the time they were on their fourth ride , I knew it was time to go .

We went into the gift shop to look around . Rob had little interest in looking and was getting hungry , so he was rocking and humming a little . Casey looked quickly , but she was ready to go too . As we were walking to the door , a lady asked if she could talk to me a minute .

The carousel was having an event for special needs families , and she wanted to

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TRIMMER invite us to it . I told her that was awesome for them to do that and thanked her for the information . Her next questions made me laugh , until I realized she was serious . “ Did I offend you ?” Offend me ? I ’ m sure the look on my face told her what I was thinking before I laughed and said no way . Apparently , a woman had gotten really upset and told her she was offended when she invited that family to the event , so the clerk was a little worried about offending others by asking .

And that brings me to my point of this column . Seriously , folks , if you have really looked at them and paid attention , it ’ s obvious Casey and Rob have special needs . Maybe you don ’ t recognize autism , but you can tell they aren ’ t typical adults . Please — instead of staring — ask your questions . I won ’ t get offended .

I ’ d rather people were just honest instead of staring and making comments , especially unkind comments .

Please don ’ t tell your kids not to stare or pull them away . Let them talk to us . The more you make it seem like it ’ s a bad thing to have autism , the more they will avoid some pretty awesome people . Let them ask questions . Let them smile and say hi . Let them ask Casey about her Elmo shirt or Rob what song he is singing .

People with autism have a hard enough time fitting in at times . If you avoid people with special needs , your children will learn to avoid them too . You may be uncomfortable , but that ’ s OK . I ’ ve been uncomfortable many times , and I ’ ve survived and made some wonderful friends in the process . Ask me why he is rocking ( to calm himself ). Ask me why she is holding my elbow and he ’ s holding my hand ( for comfort in crowds ). Ask me why he is going into the women ’ s restroom with me ( he doesn ’ t go in the men ’ s room unless it ’ s a one-stall bathroom and I can wait outside for him ).

Ask me why he leans his forehead to mine ( comfort and to show love ) or why she giggles at crying children or angry people ( she ’ s nervous ). Ask me why he is wearing sleeveless shirts in January ( sensory issues ). Ask me why she is wearing two shirts when it ’ s 80 F outside ( cause the calendar tells her to ). Ask me why he is talking too loud ( he doesn ’ t know it ). Ask me why he is singing “ Long Black Train ” ( anxiety ).

Ask why she is 36 and carrying an Elmo around ( because she loves him ) or why he doesn ’ t answer your questions himself ( he doesn ’ t talk to strangers ). Just ask . We won ’ t bite you for asking — I promise . We would much rather you talk to us than about us . Autism isn ’ t contagious , but kindness is . Casey and Rob remember who is kind to them — who respects them . And they will never forget .

Maybe there are some parents who aren ’ t ready for your questions . Maybe they are new to the journey of autism or are having a really bad day . Maybe they haven ’ t fully accepted their life . Who knows ? But just because one person reacts negatively to your questions , please don ’ t stop asking . We need acceptance and discussions — not your stares . Our families are just like yours . We want to visit places and go out to eat . We want to go to the movies and play miniature golf . Please help us do that .

Your kindness and smiles will encourage us to try again if an outing doesn ’ t go as well as we hoped , even if we can ’ t smile back . If a child is in the middle of a meltdown , smile and ask the parent if you can help and don ’ t be offended if they don ’ t want your help . We deal with this every day , and in the middle of a meltdown , we are only thinking of getting out of wherever we are . When things settle down , we will remember the sweet person who smiled at us .

So ask away . I ’ m always open to questions . You just might learn how awesome and amazing autism families are .

To learn more about ASK Autism , follow Facebook / ASK Autism or email coshoctonaskautism @ yahoo . com .

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The Coshocton County Beacon May 16, 2024 | Page 34

Please ask us your questions , we need the discussions

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