The Coshocton County Beacon June 3, 2020 | Page 18

18 • The Beacon June 3, 2020 BF-00481345 1199 S 2nd Street, Coshocton, OH 43812 740-622-4470 Contract provider for Mental Health & Recovery Services Teens and screens: What parents need to know Emily Marrison Columnist A couple of weeks ago I was able to take part in a virtual reunion for a group I spent time with while we were teenagers 25 years ago. As we reminisced, interwoven in our conversation were comments about how different our use of technology was then. We wrote letters to one another instead of sending emails. We made very short long-distance calls rather than texting. We even took photos on a camera with film that had to be developed. To say teenagers are growing up in a completely different world than we did is certainly an understatement. I can hardly believe that in 10 short days I will become the parent of a teenager. I heard once long ago that as parents we are trying hard to work ourselves out of a job. We want to raise young people who can not only function on their own, but also make good and wise choices and be of benefit to others and society. Therefore it must be about more than rules when it comes to screens and our teens. Here are some considerations for parents. Cyberbullying: Bullying is a tale as old as time, but technology allows for increased opportunities to harass others without limitations of time and space. This often leads to silent and continued suffering for some teens. One of the best resources I have found on this topic is from the Cyberbullying Research Center. This is co-directed by two professors of criminal justice from the University of Wisconsin and Florida Atlantic University. They define cyberbullying as “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices. This includes incidents where adolescents use technology to harass, threaten, humiliate or otherwise hassle their peers.” According to their research, 37% of students have experienced cyberbullying in their lifetimes. The website at www. cyberbullying.org has resources available for educators, parents, youth and adult victims. This is a quality site that is research-based and includes fact sheets on digital dating abuse, teen sexting, standing up to cyberbullying and more. Online predators: A 2015 University of Phoenix study explored teachers’ and counselors’ perceptions of preventing sexual assault from online predators. They identified five themes that contribute to this problem including lack of parental supervision, social networking websites and chat rooms, teenagers need for relationships, instant gratification among teenagers, and lack of education for parents. A Cornell University study from 2013 showed many parents were underestimating risky online behavior of their children. One resource I find particularly interesting is an “Internet Use Contract” from the CRC. One side lists expectations for the child, and the other side lists parent expectations. This sets the stage for some great discussions about boundaries. Having “parental controls” turned on is not the same as having conversations with your tweens and teens about expectations while online. Know the lingo: I laughed at a T-shirt I saw the other day that said, “No one prepares you for the transition from Ma-ma, to Mommy, to Mom, to Bruh.” Teens have always had their own language. One way to decode or to better understand abbreviations and acronyms is through the Digital Glossary at www. commonsense.org. This page also describes the latest digital apps. It can help you understand vamping and doxing, the difference between TikTok and Yik Yak, YOLO, FOMO, PAP and POS. The CRC site also has an excellent glossary with social media, cyberbullying and online safety terms to know. All in all the worst thing we can do as parents is hand our kids a tablet, phone or laptop and just hope they will be safe. We wouldn’t say, “Here’s a bike. Ride it whenever you want, however you want, any time you want.” The most important thing we can do is talk with our tweens and teens about the good and the bad and set clear expectations. Adolescents don’t think about the future or consequences the same way adults do. That is why they have us in their lives. It is both a great privilege and challenge to be in this interdependent coaching phase of parenting a teen. Emily Marrison is an OSU Extension family and consumer sciences educator and may be called at 740- 622-2265. Call 740-622-4237 for more info. Wish her a Happy Birthday with a Warm Fuzzy ad in The Beacon!