The Copa Issue 11 / Oct 2014 | Page 34

jocular full, updat on H Inn xpress half page, HC hiking trail EXCLUSIVE UPDATE ON HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS! By Juan Beltran In the last edition of the Copa Jocular, we reported the Holiday Inn Express Honeymooner’s suite would be ready to take reservations for Valentine’s Day 2015. Since then, the 15 foot long suite has disappeared from the site. With the fences down, it is believed the Honeymooner’s suite was stolen by the notorious Mexican bandito, Ricardo “Poncho” Sinatra. The suite has been reportedly been spotted at a beach near Point Penasco, Mexico. Aug 2014 Poncho has been seen throughout the region, often hosting karaoke events for his gang of banditos, however, authorities do not have any verifiable proof at this time it was Poncho and his banditos. There is also a rumor the Honeymooner Suite was washed away in the recent rains. No matter the cause, inside sources tell the Copa Jocular, the opening of the much-anticipated Holiday Ricardo “Poncho” Sinatra Inn Express, has been pushed back “indefinitely”. “I think that is a reasonable time table,” said the source. To add to this, it is rumored the Honeymooner Suite did not have insurance coverage. Local insurance specialist, Chris Cahall, says that is a “huge problem”. “If you have a business, you have to protect your potential losses with legitimate insurance,” said Cahall. “If those banditos really did steal the Honeymooner Suite or it was washed away during one of the downpours, a good insurance company would have been able to step in to make sure the business is not hurt.” OP-ED: QUIT TAXING ME! Chris Cahall Insurance Specialist By The Boogieman I have tried to understand why people feel it is okay to tax my property when I have nothing but contempt for kids and people in general. I am not for the betterment of anyone or for the community. I struggle to survive despite people spreading “good vibez” all around the Copa. I don’t care about good vibez! During the day, I just want to be left alone. At night, I just want to be left alone to freak people out. With all these taxes coming down the pipe, I am going to have to do the unthinkable and get a roommate to help pay for expenses around here! Expect over the next few years, my contempt for kids will grow and grow. In conclusion, people think I am scary, but when compared to new taxes in any form, I just look like some harmless character off Scooby-Doo. Just leave me alone!