The Connection Magazine AIM MUTUAL Spring 2020 | Page 19

VALUES
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO
LIVE UP TO OUR VALUES?
I’VE KNOWN communication experts
with dysfunctional relationships,
professional speakers who decline events
because they are horrified to go on stage,
and time management gurus who are late
to meetings. I’ve met renowned thoughtleaders
who fabricate some of their work
to get published, and personal change
advisors who are terrified of change.
Why is it so hard to live our values?
Why is it we can consume so much new
information and knowledge and yet do
nothing new in our daily life? We watch
TED talks about how the mere presence
of a smartphone on the table between
us detracts from the quality of our
conversation. Over 80% of us know this,
and yet we do it anyway.
We read studies on the importance
of grit and perseverance, and yet we
are quitting our jobs and hopping to new
opportunities at record levels because we
feel we aren’t making an “impact” quickly
enough to satisfy our ego.
We are constantly reminded that
multitasking is a myth and only leads to
decreased work quality, slower learning,
and decreased attention spans, and yet we
have numerous email and message alerts
active on our computers and devices.
We know we can accelerate our
learning when we try new things at work,
and yet we go along with idiotic ideas,
hide our opinions, and mask our true
identities, because we are scared of
being fired, or are desperate to fit in.
We know that the quality of our sleep
is directly related to the quality of our
health and well-being, and yet we take
our smartphones to bed, and even check
them in the middle of the night. And we
know that the first five minutes when we
walk in the front door can set the tone
for the entire evening, and yet often our
first reaction is dismay at the mountain of
dirty dishes in the sink. That dismay is a
mood killer.
Excellence requires work, impact takes
time, leadership presence requires being
present, and meaningful relationships
need kind conversations.
Make it easier on yourself. The
expression “activation energy” was coined
150 years ago by a chemist. The term
refers to the minimum amount of energy
required to stimulate an interaction
between available reactants.
In other words, we should minimize
the amount of energy it takes to get us
in motion and remove all the hurdles to
taking action that we can. If we want to
start jogging more, we should lay our gear
and our shoes by the bed before we go to
sleep. If we want to become better public
speakers, we need to block off a doable
amount of time — perhaps thirty minutes
each day — to actively write and rehearse
our material. And if we truly want opinions
and new ideas at our meetings, we should
make our meetings psychologically safe
for honesty.
When we make it easy to begin
something, we lower the amount of energy
it takes to get started. And if it takes less
energy to get started, we are more likely
to do it. The slow, intentional approach
to learning something new, overcoming
fear, and leading with confidence requires
guided mastery toward self-efficacy.
Self-efficacy is not self-esteem.
Self-esteem is how good you feel about
yourself. Self-efficacy is the strength
of your belief in your own ability to
complete the tasks you set out for
yourself and reach your goals.
Make it easy on yourself. Start small.
Shawn Hunter
Shawn Hunter, Founder & President of
MindScaling Entrepreneur, author, idea
developer. Shawn has collaborated with
hundreds of business authors, executives,
and researchers to create learning solutions.
Shawn’s first company, Targeted Learning,
was acquired by Skillsoft in February 2007.
He is the author of Out•Think and Small
Acts of Leadership. mindscaling.com
MindScaling.com
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