A M L
“Hey Fatty! I have good news for you. Are you ready
girls to walk fast down the catwalk, almost a run. You
for this? You booked the Dior Couture show!” My
are a downtown girl, you know? You’re modern and
bipolar agent wakes me up with a 7am call. “That’s
cool but also edgy. You live in Paris, but you spend
great, you mean the casting I went to yesterday? With
your summers in the South of France. You’re a rich
the corset dress?” “Yes, that one. They absolutely
bitch. Got it? This needs to show out there.” I’ve
love you. It’s so Major! The show is tonight.” At first
never taken method acting classes but I’m not
I’m excited but then quickly get nervous as I have a
convinced Meryl Streep could portray all of this on a
flashback to the pink fluorescent corset dress and
30 second runway walk with no talking. But I nod, and
glass ball heels. I know the Devil wears Prada, Anna
walk to my changing room for first looks. I’m
Wintour, will be in the audience and I especially don’t
pleasantly surprised to see the 6-inch glass ball heels
want to make a fool of myself. Arriving backstage at
are gone and replaced with black heels held together
the Carrousel du Louvre it’s complete pandemonium.
by velcro along the ankle. The assistant stylist helps
“Hurry Rachel! Come in a chair and get your makeup
me into my corseted dress and as she is pulling and
done.” Photographers are taking pictures, not-so-
pinching to give me a Scarlett O’Hara 19 inch waist, I
chunky Eastern European models are jumping in and
realize I can’t feel any of this. I’m also feeling good at
out of hair and makeup, and stylists are running
this point. Too good. I can’t even feel my fingers.
around making last minute touches on gowns. The
What was in those headache pills? I’m totally high.
best makeup artist in the business is giving all the girls
“Stand in a single line girls” and boom- bright colored
a geisha look. False eyelashes are adhered, my
lights beam, loud electronic music is turned up, and I
eyebrows are taped up, and a red lip is drawn-in. I
am pushed out on the catwalk, sweat dripping down
don’t recognize myself. Next comes hair. I sit on the
my sides.
stool for an hour and a half as so many hair
extensions are glued in and pulled into a tight bun on
the top of my head, that I have an instant facelift. I
“Hey Fatty! I have good news for you.”
also have an instant headache. I mention this to
Svetlana, the Ukrainian model being tortured next to
me. “Rachel have someving vor you.” She hands me
Just stay cool. Stay cool. I tell myself while taking
two white pills and tells me its called Codeine. I’ve
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