12—Cleveland Daily Banner—Sunday, January 3, 2016
www.clevelandbanner.com
Soldiers often marry young,
and for some good reasons
By KATELYN CLARK
The Leaf-Chronicle
Laurie Skrivan/St. Louis Post-Dispatch via AP
SCoTT fox, front, who decided it was time to leave his residence on Mississippi Boulevard, which
was surrounded by water, paddles a boat with his friend Tony Watkins in Kimmswick, Mo., Thursday.
Watkins was helping Fox come to shore.
St. Louis-area residents face
massive cleanup, recovery
The Associated Press
As the Mississippi River and its
tributaries retreated Saturday
from historic winter levels that
flooded towns, forced evacuations and killed two dozen people, residents in the St. Louis
area were facing a massive
cleanup and recovery effort that
will likely last weeks.
“The healing process, the
restoration process has begun,”
Chris Greenhagen, pastor of the
Central Baptist Church in
Eureka, Missouri, one of the
communities hit by flooding
along the Meramec River earlier
this week, said in a telephone
interview.
The flood, fueled by more than
10 inches of rain over a three-day
period that began last weekend,
is blamed for 24 deaths in Illinois
and Missouri.
Water from the Mississippi,
Meramec and Missouri rivers
largely began receding Friday in
the St. Louis area. Two major
highways — Interstate 44 and
Interstate 55 — reopened south
of St. Louis on Friday and some
evacuees were also allowed then
to return home.
On Saturday, while residents
took stock of the ruin, Missouri
Gov. Jay Nixon said he has asked
for a federal emergency declaration to help speed cleanup of the
flood debris in the St. Louis area.
If the declaration is approved, the
Missouri National Guard would
manage the debris cleanup program at the state level and coordinate with federal and local governments.
Nixon and Illinois Gov. Bruce
Rauner also toured flood-ravaged
areas as near-record crest predictions of the Mississippi River
and levee breaks threatened
more homes.
In Missouri, Noelle Pace said
she packed up electronics, some
furniture and her 4-year-old
son’s clothing and toys and left
Pacific on Dec. 28, the day after
she received a request to evacuate. She felt lucky to find the
damage isolated to her crawl
space when she returned for the
first time Thursday.
“Everybody around us had catastrophic damage,” Pace said.
She said she might not be able to
move back for weeks while her
landlord replaces soaked insulation.
“It doesn’t feel real yet,” she
said.
Illinois
Emergency
Management Agency spokeswoman Patti Thompson said the
huy Mach/St. Louis Post-Dispatch via AP
TuAn nguyen, owner of Pit Stop Liquor and Tobacco, estimates
that 25 percent of his store’s inventory was lost because of the flood
waters, in Pacific, Mo., Friday. On Friday, water from the Mississippi,
Meremec and Missouri rivers was largely receding in the St. Louis
area. Two major highways, Interstate 44 and Interstate 55, reopened
south of St. Louis.
state’s flooding death toll
increased to nine. Fifteen have
died in Missouri.
Rauner encouraged people to
respect requests to evacuate.
“This is life threatening,” he
told reporters at Carlyle Lake in
Clinton County in southern
Illinois. It’s not just the water; it’s
the temperature. Hypothermia is
a big risk to people’s lives.”
The main culprit in the St.
Louis region was the Meramec
River, a relatively small
Mississippi tributary that bombarded communities in the far
southwestern reaches of the St.
Louis suburbs during the week.
Two wastewater treatment plants
were so damaged by the floodwaters that raw sewage spewed into
the river. Hundreds of people
were evacuated in the Missouri
communities of Pacific, Eureka,
Valley Park and Arnold, where
many homes took in water.
William Reynolds said he
moved at least $50,000 worth of
inventory from his Valley Park
store to the second story of his
nearby home when the evacuation was ordered. He was still
unpacking Saturday after the
evacuation was lifted.
Jay
Newman,
chef
at
Frederick’s Pub and Grill in
Fenton, Missouri, said he was
mostly stuck in his Arnold home
for two days because of the flooding, which closed most of the
area roads.
“It was bad from every direction,” Newman said.
While the worst of the danger-
ous, deadly winter flood was over
in the St. Louis area, the water
was slowly make its way south.
In southeast Missouri, the
Mississippi crested overnight
Friday but not before damaging
about two-dozen homes in Cape
Girardeau, a community of nearly 40,000 residents that is mostly
protected by a flood wall.
“What we’d like people to know
is that in Cape Girardeau there
have been so many precautions
in place that even given the magnitude of this event it’s really
gone remarkably wel l for us,”
Molly Hood, Cape Girardeau’s
deputy city manager, said
Saturday.
Elsewhere, the Illinois River
continued to rise Saturday and
could near historic crests
Tuesday or Wednesday, according to Thomas Spriggs, meteorologist with the National Weather
Service in St. Louis.
“It’s still a very significant
flood,” he said Saturday. “It’s
going to be at major flood stage
for the next three days.”
Parts of the South were also in
the flood’s path. Moderate
Mississippi River flooding is
expected in Memphis. The
National Weather Service issued
a flood advisory for the
Cumberland River at Dover,
Tennessee, through Monday
evening.
Minor flooding along the Ohio
River was affecting the Kentucky
cities of Owensboro and
Paducah, and the crest wasn’t
expected until Thursday.
CLARKSVILLE (AP) — The military forces people to grow up fast
— especially when it comes to
marriage.
That’s what military wife
Wesley Ann Wade said when talking about marrying young in the
military.
Wade and other military couples said the “young marriage
complex” has existed for years
when star-crossed lovers eloped
just before deployments. This still
exists today, according to several
Clarksville couples, but sometimes for reasons that are much
different.
Almost 43 percent of active
duty members are 25 or younger
and 23 percent range from 26 to
30 years old, according to the
Department
of
Defense
Demographics Report. Over half
(56.1 percent) on active duty are
married.
Add to those statistics the fact
that the Army has the highest
percentage of married members
at almost 60 percent, according
to the report.
So, there are still a lot of young
military lads and ladies getting
hitched. But why?
“Most people in their 30s and
40s don’t see the stuff a 20-yearold soldier sees,” Wesley Ann
said. “I think marriage gives them
a feeling of stability. Soldiers’
lives are constantly in danger and
a lot of them have lost friends at
such a young age, so a lot of them
live for the present. If they find
someone they love or they want to
start a family with, they want to
do it now.”
Wesley Ann and her husband
William dated only 10 months
before they got married. He was
21 and she was 23.
Almost five years later, they are
still married with no children.
William is a sergeant based at
Fort Campbell with seven years of
service under his belt.
“Marriage at a young age is a
little bit harder because you are
still figuring out who you are. But
if you want the marriage to work,
both people really have to give
110 percent — but that goes for
any marriage at any age,” Wesley
Ann said.
With a total of 18 months in
combat over two deployments,
the Wades have been together
since William’s first. Wesley Ann
said she wouldn’t change a thing
if she had to do it over. She said
she would still marry young.
“I don’t think marriage gets
easier when you’re older, you just
face different life problems,” said
Wesley Ann.
Psychology of it all
Adding science to the mix, Dr.
E.C. Hurley from the Soldier
Center said there’s more of a
need to marry that’s embedded
into soldiers.
“There’s this need for belonging
— this attachment issue,” said
Hurley. “It’s in human nature,
but it’s more so for the military.
They want people who love them
to remember them. They want
children to carry on their legacy
because there’s this uncertainty
of coming back.”
Hurley said after this need,
there are varying reasons for
marrying young in the military
ranging from economic gain,
security and love.
The biggest issue young couples have in the military is
adjusting to expectations and
ideals, according to Hurley.
“After you get married, there’s
an adjustment of expectations or
what it means to be married,”
said Hurley. “The spouse has to
go through these adjustments
where the soldier’s commitment
is 24/7.”
Hurley said the spouse needs
to understand and adapt to the
uncertainty of the soldier being
able to drop everything or leave
the job when the spouse needs
them.
“Sometimes the needs of the
military come first,” Hurley said.
“Soldiers are taught that this
mission is the most important
thing.
“The soldiers have to balance
the reality of the mission with the
priority of marriage.”
Military service adds more
challenges to a marriage than a
civilian union, and older couples
tend to have more experience
with having to deal with these
types of challenges, according to
Hurley.
Hurley said all marriages and
even romantic relationships go
through predictable phases, but
young marriages are different
because they have this idea of
what they want.
“They are in this bubble of
ideals about what their hopes
and dreams are for marriage,”
said Hurley.
Hurley has spent his life dedicated to the military. After 33
years serving as an Army chaplain and part of that time actually
enlisted, Hurley now runs the
Soldier Center in Clarksville
where he works with soldiers and
military families.
A re-do would be different
Kayla and Kriscijan Radic have
been together for almost four
years and married for two with no
children. They decided to take
their vows when Kayla was 18
and Kriscijan was 19.
When asked what they would
do if they had to do it over, both
Radics said they would have waited to marry instead of marrying
young right away.
“There would be more everything if you wait, especially if you
stay with them awhile,” said
Kriscijan. “Yes, the Army causes
problems like not enough family
time. They stress that they care
about families, but not enough
time is given. I had 10 days to
deploy. No time was given for
family. I went home every night
around 8 p.m. That’s why most
Army people complain about
marriage because you work hard
all day to either come home to a
fight or not seeing your family
awake.”
Both were in college when
Kriscijan decided to join the Army
and asked Kayla to marry him.
Kayla left school in Virginia to
join her husband at Fort
Campbell after his relocation.
“I didn’t see a long-distance
relationship working out in the
Army without marriage,” said
Kriscijan. “The paperwork made
everything official and made us
happier.”
Kriscijan said he joined the
Army because he wanted to be a
cop and wanted to be the first in
his family to serve, among other
reasons. His family immigrated
from Bosnia and Croatia.
Now, Kriscijan is a military
policeman currently serving a
nine-month deployment to
Liberia, Africa.
“Barely seeing your loved ones
because of their work schedule or
not being able to go back home at
any time is the hardest part,”
said Kayla. “We struggle with that
the most.”
Marrying young in the military
has its perks, apparently.
Kriscijan said he thinks military
guys get married young for the
extra money and to stay out of
the barracks so they can get their
own houses.
But, it doesn’t come without its
hardships.
“Honestly, all people go
through struggles with marriage
at any time, no matter the age,”
said Kayla. “Yes, it may seem
harder when you’re young, but
you just have to know that you’re
going to get through it together.”
Local stats on marriage and
divorce
From Dec. 1, 2012 to Dec. 10,
2014, there were 4,039 marriage
licenses issued for Montgomery
County. In those same years,
divorce numbers averaged in the
600 range.
In 2014, Montgomery County
recorded 520 divorces where the
couple did not have children and
610 divorces where the couple
did have children. The 2014 statistics do not include statistics
from December, but according to
Circuit Court officials, they
appear to be steady.
In 2013 and 2012, those numbers ranged from 630 to 665 in
both types of divorce. In
Montgomery County, marriage
and divorce statistics are not broken up by military affiliation.
One for the books
While a junior in high school in
a little town in Texas, Jon Boring
happened to see Stephanie at a
football game. He knew her older
sister, who introduced him to the
soon-to-be freshman. After that
introduction, they started dating.
Jon and Stephanie continued
their relationship throughout
high school and after he graduated.
It wasn’t until a few semesters
of community college had passed
that Jon decided to join the Army
at Fort Hood.
Two months after Stephanie
graduated high school, Jon took
a four-day pass to travel back
home and marry his high school
sweetheart.
She didn’t move with him to
Fort Hood until that next
January, six months after their
union.
“It really wasn’t a well thought
out plan,” said Jon. “But, we
knew each other really well. We
started with absolutely nothing
and worked our way through.”
Two years later, he was
assigned to the 160th Special
Operations Aviation Regiment at
Fort Campbell where they’ve been
ever since.
In his 22 years of service, Jon
and Stephanie faced 14 combat
deployments, the birth of their
three children, Dylen (19), Jacey
(10), Mirabelle (19 months) and
numerous trips away for training.
Jon said he credits his successful marriage to strong faith, a
strong family upbringing and trial
and error without giving up.
When asked about a re-do on
marrying young, his answer was
almost instantaneously no.
“I tend to believe everything
happens for a reason,” he said.
“There’s nothing that I wanted to
do that I didn’t do. We experienced everything together.”
Jon said he thinks young military members get married so
quickly because of young love
and the ability to grow up faster.
“The military is a way for you to
start earning and providing for a
spouse faster than earning a
degree through college,” said Jon.
“I would attribute it to impatience.”
But once you get married, Jon
said things change.
Money, being young and
immature and separation from
family were the three struggles
Jon said are common issues in
young military marriages.
Jon said they’re some of the
hardest things to overcome when
trying to build a household.
“It can be easy to blame the
military for marital problems,”
Jon said. “Yes, it makes it more
difficult and can be taxing on a
marriage, but it’s not to blame for
divorce. If (divorce is) going to
happen, it’s going to happen.”
For 21 years, Stephanie has
been Jon’s rock, but Jon said he
would caution any young military couple wanting to tie the
knot.
“I would say give it some time,
give it a year,” said Jon. “Let
them see what it’s like to be
around you when you’re
deployed because everything
changes. They have to have a
complete understanding of what
military life is.
“Research. Talk to people
who’ve been there and let your
spouse get to know the people in
your unit. That would be my
advice.”
Some flooding in Ky., Tenn. as agencies try to control water
Jennie Crabbe/St. Louis Post-Dispatch via AP
The fLooDeD Crescent area of west St. Louis County, Mo., including the Aberdeen Golf Club near
Eureka, is seen from the overlook in Bluff View Park on Friday. The worst of the dangerous, deadly winter flood is over in the St. Louis area, leaving residents of several water-logged communities to spend
the first day of 2016 assessing damage, cleaning up and figuring out how to bounce back or, in some
cases, where to live.
MEMPHIS (AP) — Western
Tennessee and Kentucky are still
facing flood threats as the U.S.
Army Corps of Engineers and
Tennessee Valley Authority work
to control water levels.
The National Weather Service
issued a flood advisory for the
Cumberland River at Dover
through Monday evening. The
river was expected to rise to near
66.6 feet. Flood stage is 67 feet.
Minor flooding along the Ohio
River was affecting parts of
Owensboro and Paducah in
Kentucky, with the river not
expected to crest until Thursday.
Moderate flooding was reported
along the Green River near
Paradise, Kentucky.
The Mississippi River was
expected to crest in Memphis at
42 feet on January 9. Although
no major flooding was expected
in the city, officials were moving
to protect roads and a local airport.
The city said it will close a portion of North Second Street to
through traffic on Monday as
crews install temporary barriers
along the street to hold back
floodwater north of downtown.
And workers will be filling
sandbags to protect the nearby
General DeWitt Spain Airport,
which flooded in 2011 when a
temporary levee along North
Second failed . Some plane owners have moved their airplanes to
other sites as a precaution.
Along the Downtown river-
front, the expected high water
will force the relocation of several
transformers in Tom Lee Park
and some electrical equipment at
one of the Beale Street Landing
islands.
In Wickliffe, Kentucky, also on
the Mississippi, residents were
filling sandbags to protect local
homes from the river.
In Finley, farmers along the
Mississippi were evacuating
homes and moving equipment to
higher ground. The sheriff’s
office placed deputies in the area
and planned increased patrols to
protect property there.
Janie Smith and her granddaughter Amanda began packing
their home early Wednesday
morning.