Peer Review continued
HELPFUL WEBSITES
BULLYING
fear being ostracized.”
Most people already know that peer
pressure can negatively influence a child
to experiment with drugs or alcohol, skip
school or become sexually active. It can
influence hairstyles, clothing and music
choices. Peer pressure can make children
feel more vulnerable about their social
status as they become adults. However,
peer pressure also can be a positive
influence, helping a child on academic,
cultural and spiritual levels, says Dr.
Zaphiris. For example, a competitive
spirit among adolescents who focus on
their studies or who excel at sports can be
a healthy influence.
Parents and children play an
important role
Rebellious behavior is a natural part of
adolescence, but that’s why parents need to
set healthy limits and be clear about
acceptable behavior. “Every parent needs to
determine what can and can’t be negotiated,
and what they feel is appropriate, regardless
of what other kids and families choose to
do,” says Dr. Zaphiris.
“Parents need to be involved in their
children’s lives, knowing what they’re doing
and who their friends are,” says Ms. Strunk.
“One of the biggest problems I see is
that parents don’t talk to their kids about
the situation. When children are on their
MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT
FOR CHILDREN
“Many people are surprised to learn that half of all children are
bullied at some point; and 10 percent are bullied regularly,” says
Helen Zaphiris, MD, child and adolescent psychiatrist at Scott &
White Healthcare. Children who have been bullied show increased
behavior problems, are less happy, are more withdrawn and have
higher levels of anxiety and depression. As these children make
the transition into adulthood, they are likely to have difficulty with
success in their careers and interpersonal relationships.
Scott & White is responding to the growing number of children
and adolescents in need of mental health services by offering
a wide range of mental health consultations and therapies. In
addition to adolescent psychiatrists and psychologists, several
external resources are available. Parents can also find valuable
information through schools, family service organizations and
on select websites (see page 25).
24
THE CATALYST Fall 09 | sw.org
cell phones all the time, we lose track of
what they’re doing. It’s critically important
to keep the lines of communication open,
so that children feel comfortable seeking
advice from their parents,” she says.
Dr. Zaphiris recommends that parents
spend quality time with their kids on a
regular basis. Sitting down to eat dinner
together, for example, is an opportunity to
talk about what happened at school that
day or during their extracurricular
activities. Issues and concerns can be
addressed, and parents can help their
children find the words for responding to
difficult situations. “It’s important for
families to make the time to be together,
and work it into busy schedules and other
demands,” she says.
Signs of a child’s distress
Parents can ascertain whether peer pressure
has gone too far. If a child shows signs of
low self-esteem, isolation, poor academic
performance at school or susceptibility to
being bullied, he or she may be at increased
risk for conforming to negative peer
behavior simply because of a desire to fit
in. Other risk factors include a sudden
change in behavior, such as sneaking
around, or a major change in appearance
or friends. If you’re concerned that your
child might really be struggling, it is
important to seek help immediately.
A hard reality is that kids may not
realize when they’re being bullied. A bully
is someone who represents a power threat
to a person who is perceived to be weaker;
a bully intentionally causes harm to others
through physical or verbal abuse.
A child with a chronic illness is
especially a target for bullying. If a child
perceived to be weak wants to be liked, a
bully who might be seen as a “big man on
campus” may try to control and demean the
child’s behavior, says Ms. Strunk. If parents
see their child behaving differently, bullying
also may be to blame. “Parents need to ask
themselves why their child’s behavior is
changing,” says Ms. Strunk. “For example, a
bully may be demanding things from a
child, which parents can realize if they ask
themselves, ‘Why is my child asking for
extra lunch money?’”
Problem-solving skills are crucial, she
say