Learning to Cook
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over of my rendition of chopsticks. I should have started at kindergarten.
I was a mite too big to go run and hide from this assignment, and our wonderful group provided a very safe container, so to buy some time I leaned back and began to explore the source of my unease. I owned up fairly quickly to an unreasonable fear of sounding stupid. I didn’ t know where it came from and please, don’ t blame my parents. They were and are the loveliest of souls and I am the last to consider them the source of it. I was encroaching on some tender territory but I hung in there and kept prodding. By the time the rest of my group were half way through their articles I had yet to tap a key.
The realization of which brought another of my insecurities to light. It takes me forflippin’- ever to figure out what I want to say and longer yet to say it. The other writers in my track seemed to pop out entire literary babies in the time it would take me to change their baby’ s diapers. I realized the same phenomena was true of astrologers, who could breathe life into a piece of paper with chart printed on it. A good astrologer could look at a chart and turn it into a real life simulator. In the time it took me to call out“ Sun in Sag in the 6th”, they had already grasped the plot, moved past the climax and were closing in on the punch line.
Then I thought about my own( real) kids, and how during their formative years I kept a record of the milestones that marked the progress of their youth. Hmm... would that count as me having written a book? Maybe I could borrow from that and write an article with the intention that it provide a snapshot in time, as a marker along the path of my astrological development. I could look back on it one day to see how far I had come: kind of like how old I was when I lost my first baby tooth... except I had the distinct feeling sitting there that I still had all my baby teeth. Alright then, I would prod around some more. Surely I could find something to write about.
My“ kids” had grown and gone now, which is why I thought I had the time to write. Speaking of time, where had yesterday’ s darling babies gone? Indeed, where had those thirty four years gone, since the time I exited university with high hopes and honors in English in tow? Could it be that I was too much a perfectionist- that time would never be able to ripen me to the level of my expectations?
That was the moment when I heard a comment that one of my fellow writing mates had pitched my way earlier in the day, when I was very obviously editing my essay on the fly as I read it aloud in front of the class. I realized that the comment, delivered with caring intent, had been echoing silently through my mind:“ You’ re too hard on yourself.” Now that I heard it, it rang true. I wouldn’ t think of being even remotely“ hard” on someone else wearing similar baby shoes, so why was I so demanding of myself? Obviously we all have to start somewhere. And then I heard my another voice in my head, one I recognized as my own. It said,“ if all you do is read about taking a step and think about taking a step, you’ ll never learn to walk. Give yourself permission to fall on your face. Anyone who ever got anywhere has had to go through the same passage.”
This proved to be a remarkable insight, thank you very much. For all the time and knowledge I have accumulated under my belt- 56 years of it- it was the OPA experience that busted that belt loose a notch or two, and in the process allowed me room to breathe and further expand. Perhaps I will call myself a writer some day, maybe even an astrologer- if I live long enough. This was never about the chicken and the egg. It was about learning to walk, no matter where that takes you. What comes first, the chicken or the egg? It doesn’ t matter. Just pick one and run with it. But don’ t forget to loosen your belt first.
Thank you OPA, I now know why you define your community as a family. I appreciated your support while I practiced my steps.
The President’ s Report
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{ OPA Group Leaders Mix Work & Play on the Vineyard } your astrology practice, whether you are a professional or amateur astrologer. You, our members, are the organization. Your participation is always welcome and encouraged!
As always, if you have an article about your practice or a piece of poetry, etc., you would like to submit, please send it to Twink, our priceless editor, at mrmckenney @ att. net.
Wishing you a peaceful, healthy and bright 2014.— Alexandra
Hal Bahr, Jane Ridder-
Patrick and Rick Levine
Above, Monica Dimino, Vicky and Richard Smoot. Right, Chris McRae and hostess, Arlan Wise.
O P A ❥ The O rganization for Professional Astrology 6 T H E C A R E E R A S T R O L O G E R W I N T E R 2 0 1 4