touches he transforms . Adjacent study of spiritual wisdom supported that such a process was to be invited . It was just difficult to manage the emotional hits “ plutonian ” learning experiences took on me . I seemed to be in some degree of hell when it came to my finances , esteem , and relationships . Add in being frustrated for not getting why I was unable to stop doing , being whatever was bringing the pain . I scapegoated Pluto while acknowledging begrudgingly that on that infamous “ some level ” I supposed I was being helped . At some point I just forgot about Venus . She slipped through the cracks of my Pluto fear .
Time passed . It was easier connecting to the meaning of transiting retrogrades , especially Mercury . But when it ’ s encoded into your psychic DNA how do you identify it in your behavior ? I had a lot of information explaining what it all meant but what good is that when you don ’ t recognize it in who you are ? I needed to go beyond concepts and theory to see it in me . I hoped that at some point I ’ d get it .
All the while I accumulated more symbolism : her representation of the feminine principal ; what represents beauty to us ; what we like , our personal values . I remember reading somewhere a favorable aspect between Venus and Mars gave the ability to create what you want and supports the personal freedom to do what you will . Mine are both in Virgo but over fifteen degrees apart . I couldn ’ t help but feel abandonment for her . She was close but yet so far from her other half .
Years later when my struggle to know receded out of sight , I was in class listening to the teacher respond to a question . It was when he casually mentioned that natal retrograde Venus indicates an inability to recognize one ’ s own beauty the mirror cracked . Something caved internally . I thought of the times when I ’ d look in the mirror looking for the person that had just been complimented for what I said , wrote or did , and who I was or how I looked came flooding back to me . I
[ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13 ]
didn ’ t hear what else he said . I was in the feeling I always had when looking to see the one complimented in me and instead found her missing for me .
The opaque veil between us thinned . There was an empty space I hadn ’ t identified before . That was it . This was how a retrograde planet could be identified within you . It ’ s the emptiness . It ’ s the missing connection to what the planet represents in your sense of who you are . In Venus ’ s case the inability to experience the beauty in me was the blinking neon clue hiding in plain sight . Vacant though it felt , it was Venus being as present as she could . How classic that through my suffering misperceived view of what I was missing , I missed seeing that she required from me what I was looking to others for .
Delving into this has been an important learning for me . A retrograde planet requires you to give to yourself what it represents intentionally whether or not you think or feel you know what you are doing . You do it until it feels natural to be it and then operate from what you have built within and continue adding to it .
Just as the first step to erect a new structure on the remains of an old one is to build a scaffold , you do the same . The scaffold is the knowing that you must give the planet principle to yourself . The consistent doing so fills in the planet structure on the remains of the memory . When you have built to where you can operate from there a natural shift occurs even as construction continues . At a point your structure is strong enough to dismantle the scaffold and support self-reliant expression .
Venus went direct by progression several weeks before I turned 24 . I remember noticing that when I was 37 and newly separated from my first husband . Deep in disillusionment I searched to find a memory that fit all the descriptions I understood a retrograde Venus turned direct to be like . It was déjà vu all over again , as Yogi Berra the illustrious New York Yankee Manager was known to say . I couldn ’ t relate . Five years later , taking another look , I recognized there had been a shift though imperceptible then . After she went direct I went from not knowing I could have better relationships and feel better about myself to realizing I deserve to have exactly that . How to make it so ? Finding that road took a few more years . I needed my teacher / guide to appear and show the way via astrology and spiritual wisdom . I ’ ve been building that structure one step at a time ever since .
Cheryl Hopkins is an astrologer , teacher and energy healer . Born in upstate New York , she graduated from New York ’ s Fashion Institute of Technology with a degree in Business Merchandising . She enjoyed a successful career in sales in the womens ’ apparel industry for twelve years . From there she moved into the corporate world beginning with a several year stint at Calvin Klein Cosmetics .
Though a student of human psychology and development for many years her interest in astrology wasn ’ t serious until she received an astrological consultation as a gift in the mid-eighties . It elevated her understanding that astrology is a valuable catalytic tool for deepening self-awareness and changed her life ’ s direction .
She apprenticed with her first teacher learning astrology , spiritual wisdom and energy healing in the early 1990 ′ s . She is a level II certificate holder in Steven Forrest ’ s Evolutionary Astrology Apprenticeship Program and is the Program Director for The National Council For Geocosmic Research ( NCGR ) Richmond , Virginia chapter . As an energy healer , Cheryl is a PSYCH-K™ ( Psychological Kinesiology ) Facilitator and Reiki Practitioner . She maintains her practice in the Charlottesville , Virginia area at the foothills of the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains .
Visit her at cherylhopkins . com
O P A ❥ The O rganization for Professional Astrology 14 T H E C A R E E R A S T R O L O G E R W I N T E R 2 0 1 4