23
rejection letter
Oh hey, so my new phone says it speaks in vibrations in color coded flashes! Steady green means a new Gmail and slow blue means “I’m so sorry, no unfortunately your piece wasn’t for us and even though we’ve said no to your best stuff please send more two months from now because it’s our new reading period and you might get lucky with another reader who will actually like you”
Dear poetry editor,
Do you think I’m pretty?
Does this poem make my butt look big?
Dear pinch faced vegan. Dear highly overqualified MFA candidate,
I’m attributing your non responsiveness as someone stunned by my brilliance. You were just digging through the landfill of submissions, lost on slush pile mountain. You were just driving down the lonely road of poetry when you were caught in the tractor beam of my metaphor. And even at first if you thought I was an alien, I forgive you. You just haven’t seen anything like me before and geniuses are never appreciated in their lifetimes.
Dear Brittany, Dear Valerie, Timothy, Laura and Helen,
Please tell me again how close I was, when you send that email to my smart phone, those three delicate words, dear and Robert and unfortunately. When your wife, husband, significant whomever comes home with a smile and a steady paycheck, may you have mad, passionate sex with them. May they never lay beside you naked and say this just isn’t the right fit and best of luck in placing it elsewhere.
Sincerely, no hopelessly, I wanted to thank you for this opportunity.
I will send 3-5 in another six months. I am counting the days to the next submission period. And I understand if you need space, but could we still be friends? When I nod to you at parties you can tell your friends I was your almost. your hot second afterthought. I can be part of your embarrassing history. I swear if you let me wear you down this one time I’ll never send you another poem again.