The Best of Ellijay, Blue Ridge & Jasper Funpaper issue 7 | Page 22

Thia Says, “This is the stuff that Jerry puts on his FaceBook page, and it cracks me up!”
Been using my new pickup line today:
Babe does this rag smell like chloraform
to you?

Thought for Today: Always keep your
words soft and sweet in case you have to
eat them.

True love is never having to say: Honey
please put the gun down..

I'm not just any stalker, I'm your stalker.
By the way, you are out of butter pecan
ice cream.

My neighbor is addicted to brake fluid..
but he says he can stop anytime..
A state trooper pulls over this old man
and said, "Do you know your wife fell out
of the car several miles back?" Man said,
"Thank goodness, I thought I was going
deaf!"

I saw on TV last night, that they found
bones on the moon? Oh well I guess the
cow didn't make it after all.
When buying a flat screen TV, always remember to put the box in your neighbor's
trash so you don't get robbed.

Thought for Today: We need to be the
person that your dog thinks you are.
I just figured out the lint in my dryer is the
cremated remains of my lost socks. This
explains a lot.

Do you know what a dyslexic cow says?
Ooom!

I'm missing my ex, but my aim is getting
better.

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Woke up this morning with a