the BEACON Newspaper, Indiana Sept 2017 Beacon | Page 11

September 2017 THE BEACON Page 11

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DEAR

ARIE

By Marie Segale
marie @ gobeaconnews . com
Dear Marie , Two years ago I re connected with an old Love from ten years ago . He was living in another state one thousand miles away . He found me through a mutual friend on FB . He quickly let me know how sorry he was when we ended and that he still loves me and wants us to be together . We caught up with daily phone calls and a few weekend visits . After eight months he wanted to move back to get married . I ’ m a single mom with two kids , I have complete custody , their dad is not in their lives . He has a child ; however his ex-wife rarely lets him see her , so he doesn ’ t have daily childcare responsibilities . I wanted him to have time to live together to see if he could handle two kids . I wanted him to have time to connect with my kids and be a partner with me in parenting . After all , he had been living the single life for ten years . I realized after a few months that drinking was a frequent habit for him . He started playing softball on Sunday afternoons with his friends . Then in the fall , he started playing darts two nights a week . It seems like drinking and going out with his friends is more important than being with me and my kids . He did not interact much with the kids . He never took an interest in teaching my son how to throw a baseball or Frisbee . After dinner , he pretty much watched TV and played on his phone . I told him I don ’ t want to live like this . I said if he wants to be single that ’ s fine , let ’ s just part ways .
He says he wants us to stay together . So I told him if he quits drinking and going out all the time , and pays some attention to me and my kids , then maybe we can see if this will work . We love each other but this is not what I expected when he moved back from a thousand miles away because he loves me and wants to get married .
It ’ s been a few months now and so far he has been drinking less often . However , when he drinks he gets very drunk . He ’ s not a mean drunk ; he ’ s more of a happy drunk . He says he doesn ’ t have a drinking problem and he can quit any time he wants . I just don ’ t think he loves me enough to quit .
I ’ m trying to figure out what to do . Marie , what do you think ? Monica , Aurora , Ind .
Dear Monica , It sounds like your situation requires you to think about

From a dogs point of view

By : Puma & Tammy Turner Hi ! Puma here , back by popular demand . I ’ m back at the shelter , through no fault of my own , so I ’ m going to continue my article of life here at the shelter .
Today I would like to talk to you about volunteers . We love to see new volunteers . Don ’ t get me wrong , we love our caretakers here because
Puma
they love and spoil us , but seeing new faces is good too . They come in , see us , and want to love and play with us , so they bring us more treats and new toys that we just love .
Volunteers play an important part here at the shelter . We have some who come in just a few times a week to do our laundry ( towels & blankets , toys ) and wash our dishes ( food and water bowls ). Both have to be done daily so that we don ’ t get sick . We also have volunteers who come in to take us for walks , or to play with the cats . Some volunteers even make us homemade toys , beds and dog treats . What a life- I told you we were spoiled . All are essential for our well-being , ( especially the treats .)
So you can see that we love our volunteers , and something for everyone can be found . Kids are going back to school soon , so if you have some extra time , come and volunteer . Here are some things that you can do :
• Dog walkers
• Play & Socialize with cats
• Make crafts ( for gift shop & for us )
• Cat / Kitten Foster
• Wash & fold laundry
• Wash dishes
• General cleaning ( sweep & mop floors , wash windows )
• Customer Relations
• Fund raising
• Personal skills or hobbies that may benefit the shelter .
Just call or come in and look around , we will find something that you can do . Volunteers must be at least 18 or accompanied by an adult . Volunteering is fun , and you do not have to commit to a schedule . A lot of people say “ Oh , I couldn ’ t work there , it ’ s sad .” Come in and see that it ’ s not that way at all . We love to see dogs and cats get picked to go to their
forever homes . Being a part of the adoptions is rewarding . We get a lot of outside time every day and play time in our pools and sprinklers . We get to go on walks , and sometimes they take us down the trails to play in the creek . We are fed twice a day with lots of treats in between . And the toys ! My favorite is a kong filled with peanut butter that is frozen ( frozen pupcicle ).
Come see me and all of my friends . You ’ ll fall in love and have a great time too . You may even take home a new best friend . Be seeing you , and don ’ t forget to take care of your furry friends with plenty of water , and keep them inside out of the heat . Bye .
you and most importantly your two little children . It must be very strange for them to see the man you love and possibly a father figure get intoxicated . At best it is a very unhealthy environment for your children . It would seem you were right to make sure he could live with you and two little kids as a test before you married . He has certainly not measured up to be the partner you were looking for to be a parent .
There are many forms of addiction ; food , alcohol , gambling , drugs , pornography , sex , cigarettes , work , video games , etc . It ’ s not about whether he loves you enough to stop drinking . The “ addiction ” becomes most important to the addict . For them life revolves around getting the next “ fix .” No amount of pleading ,

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bargaining or begging will convince the addict to quit . It ’ s not a question about does he love you enough to quit . The question to ask is does he think he has a drinking problem ? He already told you he doesn ’ t think he has a problem and he can quit anytime . And yet he still drinks and gets very drunk . When the addiction has caused enough turmoil and destruction in his life then he may admit there is a problem . He has to want to seek help and recovery for the possibility of a normal healthy life . You need to decide : do you want to be in the path of his drinking and destruction , emotionally , physically , and financially with your two little kids ? Have a pressing issue ? Contact Marie @ goBEA-
CONnews . com

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Sudoku Sudoku is a logical puzzle game that may seem difficult at first glance , but actually it is not as hard as it looks !
Fill a number in to every cell in the grid , using the numbers 1 to 9 . You can only use each number once in each row , each column , and in each of the 3 × 3 boxes .
The solution can be found on our website www . goBEACONnews . com / print _ edition . Click on the link for Sudoku and view the solution for this month and last .
Good luck and have fun !

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