32 The Art of Accompaniment
in the practice of listening to all people in various stages of the life cycle. As
Pope Francis says, without listening, the conditions for encounter, relation-
ship, and accompaniment cannot be created:
We need to practice the art of listening, which is more than
simply hearing. Listening, in communication, is an openness of
heart which makes possible that closeness without which genuine
spiritual encounter cannot occur. Listening helps us to find the
right gesture and word which shows that we are more than sim-
ply bystanders. Only through such respectful and compassionate
listening can we enter on the paths of true growth and awaken
a yearning for the Christian ideal: the desire to respond fully to
God’s love and to bring to fruition what he has sown in our lives.
(Evangelii Gaudium, 171)
The capacity for listening is necessary for fruitful spiritual accompaniment.
It is by this practice that the mentor welcomes the other into a relationship
of accompaniment. Listening is a crucial practice of the mentor because it
not only creates space for openness between mentor and the one accompa-
nied, but also makes room for an awareness of the presence and action of
God. Active listening on the part of the mentor forms the basis for trust,
authenticity, honesty, and mutuality in the accompanying relationship. Lis-
tening, when practiced in the context of accompaniment, must truly be car-
ried out as an art; mentors must take care to develop their ability for deep,
careful, and attentive listening as part of their formation.
Equally important to this fruitful and contemplative listening is a sense
of action. While listening plants the seeds for a fruitful relationship of ac-
companiment, thoughtful and prayerful action maintains this relationship
and makes it bear fruit. Accompaniment requires that a mentor not be a
passive presence in the accompanying relationship, but participates actively
through methods such as investing time in the relationship with the one
accompanied, frequent communication with them, checking in with them
periodically, assisting them in making decisions, connecting them with
outside resources or contacts, encouraging them, or challenging them. A
mentor must be comfortable making deliberate decisions related to the ac-
companying relationship, as this fosters a space where the one accompanied
feels valued and respected.