For all the times I have heard families bemoan how they wish there was more together time , COVID delivered . Suddenly everyone was immersed in 24 / 7 togetherness .
Viewed from the cycle of a Shared Traumatic Event , the early days were heroic and altruistic . We checked on solo and older neighbors who lacked nearby support . Families played board games and watched movies together . Many families became instantly multigenerational due to financial losses and care needs .
But few had experience in multigenerational living , so it was crisis adaptation , compounded by isolation and survival fears . Some families were separated by distance or work . My husband was in rehab when COVID started , which , thankfully , was in a one-story building , so we did “ window visits ” while talking on our cell phones .
COVID accelerated what was already a developing trend in the United States toward multigenerational households . Viewed from the 8 Phase Cycle of Shared Traumatic Events , families found new ways to work together and help others in the early Heroic and Honeymoon phases . But when COVID seemed it would never end , they hit the Disillusionment phase . This is when families discovered whether they were truly cohesive . Some failed , as isolation brought out the worst dysfunctions , addictions , and abuse .
Not All of the Change Was Bad
As an online university professor in Counseling , my work did not change . I was already using Zoom for class meetings , so it was easy to continue appointments and meetings with clients and students . COVID did something for Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselors that we had been advocating for years — it opened the way for distance counseling using telehealth . COVID also allowed us to prove to all the regulators that , yes , we could develop rapport and continue high standards of client service using distance methods . For that , COVID gave us a gift we can use to reach underserved clients in rural areas , persons without transportation , and caregivers .
Work groups also experienced COVID as a Shared Traumatic Event that threw their normal functioning off balance . Separated
Member Reflections
COVID & ME : My COVID Journey — From Reality to Unreality and Back
Kathie Erwin , EdD , NCC , NCGC , is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor , National Certified Counselor , National Certified Gerontological Counselor , Qualified Supervisor , Fulbright Specialist , and a professor at Divine Mercy University . She is president-elect of the Florida Mental Health Counselors Association . Dr . Erwin is also a Master Field Traumatologist and board member of Green Cross Academy of Traumatology , serving as a team leader in Trinidad , India , Romania , and Ukraine . Author of seven professional counseling books , her book “ Group Work for Aging Adults , 2nd Edition ” ( 2013 ), generated international interest , leading to guest faculty invitations for NordMag Gerontology Intensive at University of Iceland and keynote speaker for Mexican Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy . from their “ work family ” and daily connections proved harder than many expected . I noticed new academic groups on Facebook where classroom instructors were struggling with suddenly teaching online . I joined two groups to offer ideas , ways to adapt assignments and “ you can do it ” encouragement . One group offered a daily positive sharing and affirmation from experienced professors to new instructors , bonds that do not typically occur in “ normal ” academic life .
Refusing to Live in Fear
Meanwhile , on the home front , my husband was sinking further into Alzheimer ’ s and becoming less mobile . Due to his frequent falls , the local EMS Crew became regular visitors . Every time I sat in the Emergency Room with him , I imagined all the germs that were attempting to engulf and attack me . I finally resigned myself to accept that if COVID did not get me during his multiple hospitalizations , then I must not be as tasty to virus as I am to mosquitos . Yes , that is weird .
From a diagnostic perspective , I decided it ’ s not paranoia if you have been sitting all night on a hard chair in the ER during COVID .
COVID isolation made me appreciate my older family members ’ stories of World War II fears , uncertainty , lack of supplies , cakes without sugar , Ration Cards , and all the hardships they faced . The first time I went to the grocery after COVID lockdown , only 15 people were allowed in at a time . Though it was 70 degrees outside , when I caught a glimpse of myself in a nearby window , I laughed seeing that I was wearing jeans , a long-sleeve jacket , gloves , knit hat , and a neck gaiter as a mask . That broke the “ COVID Fear Hold ” for me . From that point forward , I decided that whether or not I survive , I refuse to live in fear .
I have spent years helping clients deal with fears , phobias , anxiety , trauma , and other distressing emotional blocks that limit their lives . That weird moment turned me around to better help others . I like to think it was advanced cognitive behavioral processing based on brilliant clinical evaluation . The reality is that I saw myself looking more like I was going to rob a convenience store than shop for groceries . That was a Reality Therapy moment that even William Glasser , MD , could not have imagined .
2 The Advocate Magazine 2023 , Issue # 1 American Mental Health Counselors Association ( AMHCA ) www . amhca . org