Recipe: Sludge
Blueberry smoothies are nifty. Mango smoothies are swell. In this era, few things are
more impressive than the ability to combine two things to create something even better.
1. Take
your
milk
out
of
the
fridge
to
prepare.
M ake
sure
there
isn’t
enough
left.
2. Slice
the
skin
off
the
mango.
Eat
some
of
it.
Feel
uncomfortable
about
the
seed.
3. Cast
–
momentarily
–
the
mango
aside
and
take
on
the
blueberries.
Blueberries
are
small
and
always
look
frosty.
M AKE
SURE
THEY
ARE
NOT.
If
any
of
your
ingredients
are
too
cold
your
sludge
may
be
the
incorrect,
WRONG
temperature.
Who
ever
heard
of
refreshingly
cool
sludge?
Not
I,
that’s
who
has
not.
Aim
for
LUKEWARM.
3½. Slide the mango situation into the blender. Pelt the blueberries into the blender.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Peer
into
the
blender.
Are
there
blueberries
swimming
around
in
a
tepid
mess
of
mango?
Good.
Toss
in
the
dregs
of
your
milk.
Why
don’t
you
have
more
milk?
Blend
the
ingredients.
Realise
you
don’t
feel
hungry
anymore
as
a
result
of
your
earlier
interlude
with
the
mango
(and,
knowing
you,
probably
the
milk,
too.)
8. Begrudgingly
decide
to
consume
the
sludge
anyway
for
“health
reasons”.