tha lifestyle
Why do our children
feel such immense
pressure to get
into to a Grammar
School?
One typical story – A mother
came to me: “My Son is not doing
well in Maths, and his Grammar
school is not allowing him to take
Maths for his Advanced Levels.
My dreams and my son’s dream
to be an Economist is never
going to come true, please
help!” These were the words
of a very disappointed mother
of a teenager, who came to me
asking for help.
What we fail to notice is that this
influence can be over powering at
times, especially when the mother
begins to impose an undue impact
on deciding the future career path
of the child. There are mothers
who decide the future of their
children with traditional views,
and can be quite dismissive of
their child’s aspirations and any
professional advice by teachers or
tutors.
I have personally dealt with many
students who have been misguided
through influential parents, away
from their strengths and interests
in order to fulfil parental dreams
| family & pets
the child to achieve the success
they dream of.
This pressure results in a huge
amount of disappointment
when a child does not achieve
a place in a grammar school
and the confidence of the child
can be destroyed by the same
parent, unintentionally.
In such circumstances, these
mothers who dedicate their lives
to every need of their child, to
ensure that they get the best
education, can herself have a
detrimental role in the future
of the child if they do not get
selected into a Grammar school.
This is a common situation that
arises frequently, especially in
the British Tamil Community.
We were forced to migrate here
due to our many hardships, and
the first generation British Tamil
life style includes a hardworking
father and child focused mother.
In a world, where most fathers
have chosen to work tirelessly,
mainly as businessmen striving to
establish their families on British
soil they have limited the time
they spend with their children.
This has left the mother to guide
children, looking after their every
need, and bearing the most
influence in the future of the
child.
The mother and the child spend
a lot of time together, travelling
in the car to all the educational
and extra-curricular activities
including Tamils School, Dance
classes, Cricket, Football, Netball
and private tuition classes.
It is this precious time and the
remaining time at home that
allows the mother to the play a
great role in establishing food
habits and language fluency
moulding the child’s future.
through their children.
We fail to realise this at the
time and this can lead to many
problems in the future.
Most Tamil parents feel that if they
cannot afford a private school then
it is essential that their child should
attend a grammar school.
They are under the impression that
any other school would not allow
The future of our
children lies in
the hands of the
parents.
In my long career as teacher, I
have witnessed many occasions
when a child from an ordinary
state school becomes a scholar
and a student from private or
grammar school ends up with
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