Texoma Living Well Magazine July/August 2017 | Page 22

The
Grandparent
Clock
By Mary Jane Horton
I
want grandchildren. Plain and
simple. Yet, considering that my
kids are only 22 and 19 years old,
I don’t want grandchildren. Do I
sound confused? Yes. Am I alone in
this? No. With more and more women
(and men) having children when they
are older, the biological clock, and
yearning to be a grandparent is ring-
ing its alarm all over the country. We
know, intellectually, that we have to
wait, but we don’t want to.
Let’s face it, being a grandparent
is a big payoff, especially for those
of us in the “helicopter parent” gen-
eration. We did everything for our
kids. Watched them, educated them,
planned play dates and afterschool
classes. Now we just want to be able
to play with a baby and give her back.
We want the cuddles and coos without
the responsibility. Who can blame us?
So, herewith, some ideas about how to
get your grandchild “fix” before you ac-
tually get your own grandchild.
Babysit. Perhaps you live in a neigh-
borhood with lots of kids. What parent
would not want to take up an offer of
free babysitting from the nice women –
or couple – down the street. With the
child in such close proximity, you may
even ingratiate yourself into his life and
be invited to birthday party, recitals, etc.
Volunteer. Most hospitals have a
children’s ward where you can read
to kids and visit often. It isn’t quite
the same as having someone in your
neighborhood, because when the
child leaves hospital, you probably
won’t be able to maintain contact, but
it still works for the short term. Many
pre-schools also need an extra set of
hands and laps and often take volun-
teers. You will likely have to have a
background check and perhaps be fin-
gerprinted.
Become a CASA. Court appointed
special advocates are volunteers who
work within the foster care system to
help one child at a time. They talk to
their doctors and care givers, teach-
ers, parents and therapists to make
sure that the children’s lives are going
as well as possible even though they
have been taken out of their homes of
origin – usually because of abuse or
neglect.
Offer a skill. While the children may
be older, you can offer a local class on
a special talent you have for no – or
little – payment. Can you knit, crochet,
make great pumpkins, or write? Get a
class going.
Be outrageous. A friend of mine ac-
tually went up to a parent and child
in a store and offered to be a surro-
gate grandparent. It worked for him
because it turned out that the grand-
parents of the child lived far away,
and the parent was overworked and
thankful. It may work for you, too, but
if you decide to take that route, do it
gingerly.
Ask to be invited. You probably
have friends who have older children
and grandkids. Just be honest and ask
to be invited when their kids come
with grandkids. They will understand,
and you can help out by doing some
cooking and cleaning during the get
together. Who knows, you might be
asked back often.
Mary Jane Horton has been a writer/editor for 30 years. She has written for such magazines as Runner’s World, Fodor’s
Guides, Time, Ms., Shape, Prevention, Living Fit, Woman’s Day special interest publications, to name a few, and
worked as an editor for Fit Pregnancy magazine. Mary currently writes for Fiftyisthenewfifty a wry and wise online
magazine devoted to those who are middle aged and people who accept the fact that they will get there someday.
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TEXOMA AREA Living Well Magazine | JULY/AUGUST 2017