When a family works together as a “ team ” there is unity .
In today ’ s world , we are facing so many changes ! There are changes in the way children are educated , job related changes for a mom or dad , changes in the way we approach doctor visits , changes in our economic and political system , and changes how we gather together just to name a few . I have had the opportunity to counsel families for approximately twenty years now . This past year , I have observed and counseled families that have had an “ extreme ” shift in the way they function together inside and outside the home . This is not new “ news ” to any of us reading this article . The question I ’ ve been asking myself for these families , adolescents , children and couples is “ how can I help them to stay connected , feeling safe and secure in their home , continuing to experience a depth of unity that encourages emotional growth and optimum personal development and fulfillment .” There is a need to unify the family in such a way that brings the best out of each member of the family . I would like to suggest the following concepts and ideas . They are not new concepts … there are the same ones that have existed since man was created , however we are finding the need to implement these concepts more than we have ever before .
CONCEPT NO . 1
When a family works together as a “ team ” there is unity . When there are changes in the family and outside the family that cannot be controlled , fear , depression and anxiety can occur . A family that works together as a team will find time for each other to communicate with each other openly , respectfully and willingly . When children feel important and have a place other than their friends to speak to , they feel safe and understood . Parents who have developed the team concept that brings unity from the beginning ( which starts with relationship between mom and dad ) are already ahead of the game of family unity . If you have not done as much as you would like or need more help , it is not too late to begin . Start with family time together . Start with open conversations on what everyone is thinking and feeling about the world of their own family and the world outside the home . Communicate respectfully , validating a thought or feeling even if you do not agree , and make time to have fun together . Be creative in spending time together and as a team unit .
CONCEPT NO . 2
Decide what your value systems are as a family and even openly discuss them . Even though you are each an individual , mom and dad or single parents have been given the opportunity to be responsible for the core moral development for the family and each child . The child will eventually decide for themself what they will implement in their own families when they leave home , but at least parent ( s ) have given them a baseline to begin with . Is your baseline core value system positive and foster unity , caring for others or is it selfish , rude and abusive ? Good parent ( s ) will ask themselves this question and always want to improve for the sake of the team ( family ).
CONCEPT NO . 3
The family will learn from each other and more by actions than by what is said . If you believe something to be true to a core moral value , but your actions are contrary to that belief , the team ( family ) will not feel as secure and will have trouble believing the family is truly a secure place to grow and be yourself . In other words , the actions go against what the core moral value system is therefore , may be based on untruth . This concept is not about being perfect in all actions towards self or others in the family … it ’ s about being honest with heart of humility , willing to change and bend for the betterment of the team ( family ).
If these three concepts are implemented , I truly believe what we are experiencing in todays world ( in family and outside family ) will foster more peace , security and love in the family . This in turn will have a positive effect upon our society . The whole of society is only as good as the parts ( the family and each individual in family ). There are no guarantees as we each have choices to make , however not trying to implement positive core values and safe interactions in the family will be like starting on shaky ground and sinking sand in my professional and personal opinion .
Georgia Smith-Lyle is in private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas providing counseling for children , adolescents , adults , marriage and family . She has authored two books and is a public speaker . Georgia may be reached at 469-855-0256 or via email gpsmith7 @ aol . com . www . counselingbygeorgia . com .
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