Discuss in a group: how do you feel about political correctness
stopping people from expressing their opinions freely for fear of
prosecution?
Exercise: find someone whose opinions you find hard to stomach
and listen to them without arguing or disagreeing with them. After a
while, see if they start to modify their own opinions as you only ask
them questions about what they think, as often happens.
Level 4: feelings – now we are beginning to share more than simply
opinions. We are sharing some of our feelings, the things most personal to us. A conversation going into feelings might go like this:
“What did you get up to this weekend?”
“Not much really?”
“Why not? You’re normally so busy.”
“I felt rotten.”
“Why?”
“Things are bad at home at the moment. I shouldn’t be telling you
but I feel like I’m going to burst if I don’t talk to someone.”
It’s like a door has opened and we are seeing beyond the words into
the heart. It can be surprising to hear this level because it can often
contradict the opinions expressed at level 3. The most important
thing to remember when someone opens up and shares their feelings
is that they do it to be heard and listened to, not to be judged or told
off. The reason so many people avoid this level is that when they
share their heart it is treated with little respect. When doing any of
the following exercises it is vital that people feel safe to share. If they
don’t know one will be able to open up. The best way to achieve this
is to model it as a leader, not just during the activity, but at all times.
Exercise: as the leader of a group or pair, start the chat off by sharing something that’s on your heart at the moment about someone you
know well (in a confidential way, without mentioning names or
choosing someone in the group!) and how you personally feel about
the situation. Encourage others to share their heart about someone
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