The first jury had already started. The jury comprised
of four members, two of them who taught us design
this semester and two who think will teach us now.
Nirbhaya, a five feet tall dame with a confidence taller
than the Burj Khalifa was the first one to face the jury. I
don’t understand whether her name had an effect on
her or her parents already knew that their daughter
was nirbhay personified. With the six sheets pinned up
on the board she could talk for sixty minutes. A state of
Adbhutam, a feeling of amazement overpowers me
every time I hear her speak.
Many more students followed. Watching a jury is like
watching the navrasas of the natyashastra. Next in row
was Simran. Her dimpled smile seems to always win
hearts of the people around and so of the jury today.
Manan, symbolizes the feeling of innocence. He is so
soft and vulnerable that he has comfortably settled
himself in the soft corner of his teacher’s heart. He was
tenderly dealt with in the jury.
Sneha was watching me all this while as if reading my
mind. She gave me a smile of acknowledgement. The
state of Karunyam, feeling of sympathy both of us
shared for each other.
“Guys…” Sandy, a bespectacled netaji of our class was
in an animated conversation with a bunch of juniors
explaining the significance of UNITY with a clenched
fist. All of us here were worried about ourselves than
anybody else and our leader here was worried about
anybody else but himself.
Roll no. 27, and I panic. The rhythmic sound of my
heart had become louder and faster developing a
feeling of anxiety. I enter the room with a look of
confidence. Because a thing well started is a battle half
won. I start putting up my beautifully rendered sheets
and place on the table the not so beautiful model.
“Only these many?” commented one of the jurors, “six
sheets produced in six months??” he continued
sarcastically. Hasn’t he heard of the dictum “less is
more”, I wanted to remind him
14
“But it is what it is
with life….it is
never stagnant !”
. But I can’t and arises the feeling of helplessness.
You give a miserable smile but the misery in your
smile adds to the mockery in theirs, state of
Hasyam..feeling of mirth. Then, throughout the
jury, I was only defending my design.
“But if I…”
“But if…”
“But I…”
How am I supposed to explain the joys, the
frustrations and the tears that rolled down my
cheeks in the last six months in these six minutes,
the five and a half of which they wouldn’t let me
speak?
The jury finally got over giving me a feeling of
relief, or to them I couldn’t bother. I collected all
the broken pieces of my self respect and moved
out of the gloomy room. Architecture always has
been this emotional roller coaster ride of the
overwhelming highs and the frustrated, defeated
lows. But it is what it is with life….it is never
stagnant !
I surrender to all my emotions to settle in a state
of Santam, a feeling of peace and tranquility.