FOR STARTERS columns
( TERRE ) HAUTE MOMMY KATIE SHANE
Looking at my identity outside of ‘ Mom ’
While listening to the radio the other day I heard one of my favorite jams , “ Levitatting .” As I turned the song up to fully rock out , I realized the song sounded different — the background music was a little off and the woman singing didn ’ t sound familiar . I checked the radio station and realized the problem : I was listening to the actual song by Dua Lipa , not the KidzBop version . If you ’ re confused , it ’ s OK . Until I had kids , I didn ’ t know KidzBop existed — or that it was acceptable to spell “ kids ” with a “ z .”
I ’ ve never been on the cutting edge of new music , but I was mortified that not only do I not know current songs , but the ones that I do know are cover songs by children . Am I so deep into being a mom that I can ’ t escape it ?
Parenting is obviously a juggling act , but was I more “ Dylan and Avery ’ s Mom ” than “ Katie ”? I know I had introduced myself to numerous parents at school as “ Dylan and Avery ’ s Mom .” Come to think of it , I ’ m not sure if I even gave my actual name . I started to wonder if I have an identity outside of being “ Mom ”?
The other night around the dinner table we were all going around saying the best thing we did over the weekend . As I sat trying to choose my favorite activity , Avery said she knew what I was going to say . “ You got some work done on your computer , cleaned the house and put away all the laundry !” While she wasn ’ t wrong that tackling the piles of laundry was a great accomplishment , I wouldn ’ t say it was the best part of my weekend .
I wracked my brain thinking of anything else I had done that wasn ’ t connected to being “ Mom .” Grocery ... no . There was that party on Saturday , but for a 6-year-old ... so , no . Oh , the vodka cocktail Saturday night ... no , that doesn ’ t count because I was just drinking away the memories of the birthday party earlier in the day . Geez , was there nothing I did for myself ?
8 Terre Haute Living • March 2022
I was determined to get back to “ Katie ” ( and also determined not to speak in the third person ). I signed up for yoga classes at Common Ground ’ s new downtown studio ( highly recommended by the way !), booked my girlfriends for a wine night and assigned everyone in my house at least three chores . By mid-week I felt a little lighter , and two parents at school pick-up even called me “ Katie .” It was progress .
On the way home from the wine date with my girlfriends , I felt great . Maybe it was the wine talking or maybe it was the feeling of successful self care during that week . Either way , I cruised toward home with my window down and the actual Dua Lipa version of “ Levitating ” blasting on the radio .
I came to a stoplight and noticed a group of teenage boys in the car next to me . They were yelling to another group of kids on the other side of my van , which was annoying , but they weren ’ t hurting anything so I ignored them . That was until one of the guys yelled , “ We ’ ll follow you once this lady pulls forward in her mom van .”
It was like a dagger to the heart . I didn ’ t think of myself as that much older , but they
were looking at me like an old blue-hair in a dumpy , slow van . It ’ s a van , but for the record , it ’ s new . They continued to yell to each other as I debated running the red light just to get away . Instead I did a super “ Mom ” thing .
I leaned out the window and motioned to the passenger in the car next to me . He turned down the radio and leaned out to hear me . “ You kids be careful OK , make sure you have on seat belts .”
They looked at me like I was completely insane . Embracing my Mom status , I cranked up the KidzBop and stepped on the gas of the van . See ya later kidz !
Katie Shane is trying to navigate career and family , while staying sane . When she ’ s not chasing her two young daughters , Katie enjoys spending time with her husband , volunteering in the community and visiting her hometown of Louisville . Katie can be reached at katieshanewriter @ gmail . com