ADVICE
Dear Aunt Tees,
I work in a small office and there’ s a situation that’ s starting to make a lot of us uncomfortable. One of the directors, who is married and in his 50s, seems to have become very close to a younger female member of staff who reports to him.
People have noticed they spend a lot of time together behind closed doors, go to meetings together that don’ t seem to need both of them, and there’ s a lot of whispering going on. Nothing has been said openly, but it’ s become a talking point around the office and morale isn’ t great.
Some of us feel it looks unprofessional, especially given the seniority involved, but nobody wants to be accused of stirring trouble. The other directors either haven’ t noticed or are choosing not to get involved.
Part of me thinks it’ s none of my business, but part of me wonders if someone should say something before it turns into a bigger problem. Should I raise it, or keep my head down?
— Name supplied, Hartlepool
Aunt Tees replies
You’ re right about one thing- this is exactly the sort of situation that can quietly poison a workplace if nobody deals with it.
Office relationships happen and most adults understand that. The problem here isn’ t romance, it’ s perception, power and professionalism. When a senior figure appears to be showing special attention to a junior colleague- particularly one who reports to them- it raises questions whether anything inappropriate is actually happening or not.
And once staff start talking, the damage is already being done.
You’ re also right to be cautious. Marching into the boardroom with rumours rarely ends well, especially if you don’ t have facts. But that doesn’ t mean the issue should be ignored.
If the behaviour is affecting the atmosphere or making people uncomfortable, it becomes a workplace matter, not just a personal one. In that case, the safest route is to raise concerns professionally rather than personally- for example, through HR, a senior manager you trust or whatever structure your company has for handling issues confidentially.
What you shouldn’ t do is let gossip become the management strategy.
Good directors know that leadership isn’ t just about what you do, it’ s about what it looks like you’ re doing. If they haven’ t noticed, they probably need to. And if they have noticed and have done nothing, that’ s an even bigger problem.
Either way, silence rarely fixes these things- it just lets them grow.
Dear Aunt Tees,
I’ ve got a senior employee who brings in big clients but leaves a trail of unhappy colleagues behind. I keep telling myself they’ re worth it. Am I kidding myself?
— CJ, Redcar
Aunt Tees replies
I’ ve watched this film a few times and it rarely ends well. The numbers look good on paper, so you convince yourself it’ s manageable. Meanwhile, everyone else quietly adjusts around them- usually by disengaging or leaving.
One business owner I know did exactly this – held on because the revenue felt too important. Within a year, two of his best people had gone and the culture had turned sour. He told me later it was his biggest leadership mistake.
You don’ t need to act dramatically, but you do need to be honest. Have the conversation, set the standard and watch what happens next. If nothing changes, you’ ve got your answer.
set the standard and watch what happens next...
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