COMMENT
Business Buzz
with Harry Pearson
We all love fun with puns – but let ’ s not undertake it too far !
Award-winning columnist Harry Pearson says that while an eyecatching name can get your business plenty of attention , it could also bury you ...
Peckish not Peckham – Like Crook Town ’ s snack bar , the name of this takeaway van in the Isle of Wight was inspired by Del Boy and friends .
It was an accepted fact in all the five-aside football leagues I ’ ve played in over the decades that the more time a team spent working out a clever name for themselves , the worse they would be . This is something anyone who came up against my mid-1980s side , AC A Little Silhouetto of Milan will testify to ( although Club Tropicana Drinks FC seemed to do all right ).
When it comes to business , however , a smart , snappy and funny name can get you masses of social media attention .
For instance , millions of people all over the world know there is a food van on the edge of Exmoor – close to the place where Sherlock Holmes did battle with a giant dog – called The Hound of the Basket Meals .
Likewise , you don ’ t need to have visited Northern Ireland to know there is a fish and chip shop in Belfast called For Cod and Ulster , or have gone looking for a bouquet in Glasgow to be aware that there ’ s a flower shop in the Scottish city named Florist Gump ( although when it comes to florists , my favourite is Back to the Fuchsia ).
Twitter , Facebook and Instagram give these places free advertising almost daily and a global reach they could never have
dreamed of in the past .
Food van owners , like the man behind The Hound of the Basket Meals , generally work pretty hard when it comes to naming their businesses .
A mobile Chinese takeaway called The Wokswagon , a French pancake truck called Planet of the Crepes and an ice cream van named The Rolling Cones are a few I ’ ve overtaken on motorways over the past half-dozen years .
And next season , fans of Northern League Division One ’ s Boro Rangers and Redcar Athletic will be able to sample the delights of Crook Town ’ s tea bar , Only Foods and Sauces .
Teesside has , naturally , played its part in the jollity with The Cod Father chippy in Stockton , dog carers The Barking Lot and Paws Play featuring alongside two finely named hairdressers , Middlesbrough ’ s Curl Up ‘ n ’ Dye and Curls Aloud in Hartlepool .
You have to be careful , of course . Punning names don ’ t suit all types of business .
While you might not mind getting a trim at British Hairways , buying a freezer from a shop called Sellfridges ( and other appliances ), getting your kitchen floor redone by Lino Richie (“ Hello , is it me you ’ re looking floor ?”), or purchasing a new sim card at Aye Phones , you ’ d probably not want to entrust a funeral to an undertaker called Grave Expression .
Nor , I suspect , would you put your faith in a solicitor with a jokey name such as Where There ’ s a Will or A Man Named Sue .
Likewise , while some names , such as South-east Asian takeaway Thai-Tanic , and locksmith Surelock Homes will last forever , others have a very limited shelf life .
Those of us who grew up watching Neighbours in the 1980s , for example , will get a laugh out of the mobile kebab shop called Jason ’ s Donner Van .
However , when I mentioned it to my teenage daughter she looked perplexed and then , when I started trying to explain , rolled her eyes so hard they could hear it in Oslo .
Luckily , I didn ’ t tell her that I ’ d once seen a bathroom fitter ’ s van in County Durham with the name Bonny Tiler on the side .
If I ’ d told her that and then started singing Total Eclipse of the Heart , our doors would have been slamming for a fortnight .
Alhough now I come to think of it , a cake shop called Total Eclipse of the Tart wouldn ’ t be such a bad idea , would it ?
Harry Pearson ’ s latest book The Farther Corner – A Sentimental Return to North-East Football is out now .
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