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THE BAY TALKS
The Gentlemen’s Club
How to be a Good Father
How to Be a Good Father
1. Make time for your family
As a father, how do you show your children that they are important to you? Surely there are many things you do for
your children, including the sacrifices you make to feed them and provide them with an adequate home. You would not
do such things if your children were not important to you. Yet, if you do not spend significant amounts of time with
your children, they might conclude that you care more for other things, such as your job, your friends, or your hobbies,
than you do for them.
When should a father begin to spend time with his children? A mother begins to form a bond with her child while it is
still in the womb. Some 16 weeks after conception, an unborn baby might begin to hear. At this stage a father too can
start to build his unique relationship with his unborn child. He can listen to the baby’s heartbeat, feel it kick, talk to it,
and sing to it.
Bible Principle: In Bible times men were personally involved in the education of their children. Fathers were encour-
aged to spend time with their children on a regular basis, as is made evident by the Bible’s words at Deuteronomy 6:6,
7, which say: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate
them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down
and when you get up.”
2. Good Fathers Are Good Communicators
In order to communicate effectively with your children, you must be a careful listener. You need to cultivate the ability
to listen without overreacting.
If your children think that you will lose your temper quickly and be judgmental, they will have little incentive to express
their inner feelings to you. But if you listen to them calmly, you will show that you are genuinely interested in them.
They will in turn be far more likely to share their precious thoughts and feelings with you.
Bible Principle: The practical wisdom found in the Bible has proved to be beneficial in many aspects of daily life. For
instance, the Bible says: “Every man must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath.” (James 1:19)
Fathers who apply this Bible principle are able to communicate better with their children.
3. Give Loving Discipline and Commendation
Even when you feel frustrated or angry, the discipline you administer should be an expression of loving concern for the
long-term welfare of your child. It includes advice, correction, education, and chastisement when needed.
Furthermore, discipline is much more effective when a father commends his children regularly. An ancient proverb
says: “As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it.” (Proverbs 25:11) Commendation
enriches a child’s character. Children blossom when they are acknowledged and appreciated. A father who looks for
opportunities to give commendation will help to build confidence in his children and motivate them not to give up
trying to do
Bible Principle: “You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.”—
Colossians 3:21. what is right.
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