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TEAM TALK
Family Matters By Crystal
Mom ’ s Love - Never Giving Up
How to cope and support your daughter-in-law when her husband ( my son ) is jailed in a Muslim country .
The family is devastated and stunned when a husband , dad , son and brother , grandson is jailed in a foreign country . Not a western culture country , a Muslim culture country . A country that has such bad human rights policies and changes daily . Nothing is the same , in a day by police officers and police stations . The lawyers in Dubai are the highest paid in the world . 15000 dirhams for a 1st consultation . Can ' t apply for bail as no charges are laid . Everyone , everything in limbo . Moved from police station to police station in and around Dubai is a frightening , an unreal situation . I felt the wind punched out of me .
“ Please take me , let him go to be with his young family .” A little girl , whose dad is her world . From the 1st day they bonded bathed together every night . It ' s hard for a 3 year old to comprehend her dad isn ' t with her . * Sue , * Ben ’ s wife , having to keep everything together , can ' t work . Doesn ' t know what or where her husband , the father of her 2 babies are . Is he ok ? Images of TV cross your mind . Raped ? Abused ? Images of jails shown on TV across the world , fill your mind . Its mind , body and soul destroying . Everyone said go to Dubai , but I didn ’ t go . I could do more here . Save money for whatever arise .
Then the truth prevails . A debit order didn ' t clear on the said date . The company Ben works for , pays their staff late . No funds were available for the debit order . An American company , franchised to Abu Dhabi , I thought I would call and they would offer help . But person after person . “ It ’ s not my department ”. Eventually the right person , * Mrs Ferreira were kind enough to offer assistance . A sign of relief between the tears that flows continuously . There was no help , the PRO / HR of the company , A South African won ' t help , he can ' t help his job is on the line . Next …. The SA embassy in Dubai emergency number . A of ray of hope , but shattered . “ We can ' t get involved .”
Ben is brought to court . Head shaven , in shackles and cuffs . * Jenny doesn ' t recognize her daddy . Sue is distraught , her husband . She can ' t talk to him .
The family in SA are trying to get the money together to pay the bank Sell things , lend , borrow … The fight between each other to do more . Sue traveling daily to try to see her husband . 2.5 hours per day . Jenny , 2 and a bit years old . Ryan , 1 year old . Keeping each other motivated . Different nights was different sobbing and pain . And as parents we try and make sense of the situation .
Then the cross actin starts . I have a property paid for , so I have property . I can raise funds . But don ’ t have a job . No business . And a legal battle with a major business . Emotionally finished , physically done . Busy recovering from kidney failure .
Paid the bank . All happy but short lived . The bank must do all clearance documents for the court . 1st appearance , the jail forgets to bring Ben to court . So another 2 days pass . The bank brings the wrong documents . The public prosecutor and judge throw the book at the bank . But it ' s there people .!!!! So Ben , are sent back to jail to wait for a date . Sue driving every day , to plea and beg . Jenny and Ryan aren ' t sleeping properly . Never forgetting . It ' s a Muslim country . All fine until you have to live by Muslim rules . In jail , no toilet paper . No knives . No forks .
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