21
TEAM TALK
Family Matters By Crystal
Mom’ s Love- Never Giving Up
How to cope and support your daughter-in-law when her husband( my son) is jailed in a Muslim country.
The family is devastated and stunned when a husband, dad, son and brother, grandson is jailed in a foreign country. Not a western culture country, a Muslim culture country. A country that has such bad human rights policies and changes daily. Nothing is the same, in a day by police officers and police stations. The lawyers in Dubai are the highest paid in the world. 15000 dirhams for a 1st consultation. Can ' t apply for bail as no charges are laid. Everyone, everything in limbo. Moved from police station to police station in and around Dubai is a frightening, an unreal situation. I felt the wind punched out of me.
“ Please take me, let him go to be with his young family.” A little girl, whose dad is her world. From the 1st day they bonded bathed together every night. It ' s hard for a 3 year old to comprehend her dad isn ' t with her. * Sue, * Ben’ s wife, having to keep everything together, can ' t work. Doesn ' t know what or where her husband, the father of her 2 babies are. Is he ok? Images of TV cross your mind. Raped? Abused? Images of jails shown on TV across the world, fill your mind. Its mind, body and soul destroying. Everyone said go to Dubai, but I didn’ t go. I could do more here. Save money for whatever arise.
Then the truth prevails. A debit order didn ' t clear on the said date. The company Ben works for, pays their staff late. No funds were available for the debit order. An American company, franchised to Abu Dhabi, I thought I would call and they would offer help. But person after person.“ It’ s not my department”. Eventually the right person, * Mrs Ferreira were kind enough to offer assistance. A sign of relief between the tears that flows continuously. There was no help, the PRO / HR of the company, A South African won ' t help, he can ' t help his job is on the line. Next …. The SA embassy in Dubai emergency number. A of ray of hope, but shattered.“ We can ' t get involved.”
Ben is brought to court. Head shaven, in shackles and cuffs. * Jenny doesn ' t recognize her daddy. Sue is distraught, her husband. She can ' t talk to him.
The family in SA are trying to get the money together to pay the bank Sell things, lend, borrow … The fight between each other to do more. Sue traveling daily to try to see her husband. 2.5 hours per day. Jenny, 2 and a bit years old. Ryan, 1 year old. Keeping each other motivated. Different nights was different sobbing and pain. And as parents we try and make sense of the situation.
Then the cross actin starts. I have a property paid for, so I have property. I can raise funds. But don’ t have a job. No business. And a legal battle with a major business. Emotionally finished, physically done. Busy recovering from kidney failure.
Paid the bank. All happy but short lived. The bank must do all clearance documents for the court. 1st appearance, the jail forgets to bring Ben to court. So another 2 days pass. The bank brings the wrong documents. The public prosecutor and judge throw the book at the bank. But it ' s there people.!!!! So Ben, are sent back to jail to wait for a date. Sue driving every day, to plea and beg. Jenny and Ryan aren ' t sleeping properly. Never forgetting. It ' s a Muslim country. All fine until you have to live by Muslim rules. In jail, no toilet paper. No knives. No forks.
21