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usually best first step.
Sometimes you only have a short time to explore some of these
skills with a young person. If so, consider calming skills like the following.
Controlled Breathing
Most people tend to take quick, shallow breaths when they are feeling anxious or
distressed. Unless you are in a really dangerous situation, you probably don’t need to
breathe like that. One of the best ways to respond to a young person who is aroused is
to help them find a way to get some control over their breathing. Try this exercise:
1. Take a normal breath in through your nose with your mouth closed
2. Breathe out slowly through your nose or mouth and very slowly say (out loud of in your
head) a word like ‘calm’ or ‘relax’.
3. Count to four slowly, and then take another breath. Take about 10 breaths or more.
4. Practicing this a few times, even when you aren’t distressed can be really helpful
For more ideas have a look at Smiling Mind.
2. Isometrics or exercise
Another great way to help young people release the tension they are feeling when they
are in an arousal or flight/fight response state is by getting them to release some of the
tension. This could be as simple as getting them to:
1. Tense and release muscles in their body, whether this be making a fist and then relaxing
it or tensing their legs and then relaxing, or
2. Dropping and giving you twenty i.e. physical exercise, such as push ups or squats
Both of these not only help shut down the flight/fight response but also means the young
person stops focusing on what they are angry/frustrated about and instead on managing
the exercise.
3. Grounding
It is not unusual for difficult and stressful situations to make young people feel ‘unreal’ or
disconnected from what is going on around them. This can be a risky thing to have
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