“ Our boys adhere to the social-emotional principles of Saint David ’ s because they are of immense value , providing them with the foundation necessary to lead ethical and successful lives .”
teachings reinforced those of my own faith . Both schools hold to a foundation of faith that each student is encouraged to be guided by . This faithfulness to a core set of moral principles such as kindness , love of truth , honesty , empathy , and humility , among others , becomes a guidepost and a support for decision-making , an internalized behavioral authority on the developmental road to becoming a good man .
Although Saint David ’ s educational philosophy is guided by a faith tradition , it is not exclusionary or in conflict with the religions of non-Catholic students , or with the life philosophy of students whose families are agnostic or atheist . Our boys adhere to the socialemotional principles of Saint David ’ s because they are of immense value , providing them with the foundation necessary to lead ethical and successful lives . What is important to the school is for each student to learn from his experiences at Saint David ’ s those teachings and perspectives that reinforce useable practical habits , giving men the best chance to live well and peacefully with each other .
As a faculty mindful that our community includes our parents , we are very conscious of ensuring that we share our observations of your sons with you so that there can be consistency across school and home boundaries . Teachers are always open to and interested in discussing how a student is living up to expectations . We believe strongly that students learn from their mistakes . Interpretations of behavior can differ , so advocacy and self-advocacy are central tenets in our system .
By consistently relying on reflection and acknowledging one ’ s own behavior , a faith in our shared values can develop . Encouraging this experience as our boys grow and develop , equips them for the world of Saint David ’ s and for the world beyond our school doors . It is this experienced progression of social and emotional awareness , grounded in day-to-day faith-based lessons , that brings with it an awareness of self and other . It enables a capacity for putting one ’ s self behind the other and the individual behind the group when appropriate . This insight and ability strengthens Saint David ’ s boys and becomes a foundational piece in a boy ’ s experience of his own psychological wellbeing .
As a psychologist , I know that boys will develop these life skills and ways of understanding their own interactions with others at different rates and in different forms . My role is to help understand what is occurring with a particular student , cohort or grade during this growth . I participate in the creation and cultivation of exercises from which the boys can learn difficult and , sometimes , subtle lessons .
Struggles are respected ; we long ago recognized that often more can be learned from mistakes or missteps than through successes . The aim is to improve . Education is of the whole boy . We also realize that succeeding or winning means knowing what you did to accomplish your achievement , recognizing the impact this had on those around you , and reflecting on the experience so that you can actively contribute to your next effort , whether it be academic or social . We extend much effort to bring each boy through his greatest difficulties to the recognition of how he can be his best and most capable self . The extent to which we , as teachers all , can help him achieve this , is our best guarantee of his social , emotional , and psychological well-being .
During my recent observations , I have been most struck by how our boys come together in support of each other . Whether by calling someone out , self-disclosure , or standing up for someone , our boys join each other and their teachers in a continual process of learning to adjust themselves in the ways they interact with peers and understand themselves . We have come a great distance , both together as a school and as a familial community . We have weathered many challenges since I first observed those little boys , encouraged by their teacher , talk through their disagreements and shake hands . In keeping with our mission to educate boys to become good men , we use the school experience to instill in each boy a way of staying true to a faith he has developed in the proper ways to conduct himself and in the lessons he has learned of how to treat others . As rigorous and demanding as this part of Saint David ’ s School can be , it is met with the burgeoning sense of accomplishment and well-being our boys experience as they master the demands of the virtues and values of Saint David ’ s . Truly a “ joyful balance .” •
Dr . Schwartzman is the School Psychologist at Saint David ’ s School . He most recently co-authored the book , Giving Hope : Conversations with Children About Illness , Death and Loss , which was published by Random House in 2022 . His previous book , The Anxious Parent , was published by Simon and Schuster in 1990 . Dr . Schwartzman was also a Contributing Editor at CHILD Magazine , where he co-authored “ Stages ,” a column on child development .
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