Teachers Thriving Issue #2 | Page 90

How do you feel? What do you do? Where do you sit? What coffee cup do you use? Should you have brought your own? Are you comfortable or uncomfortable? Sound familiar?

At some time in our lives, each of us finds ourselves in uncomfortable situations where we don’t know what to expect or what others expect of us. So how do we balance making a good first impression when we are feeling out of place - and then we need to make conversation?

THE BRAIN AND SELF-AWARENESS

Firstly, let’s think about what’s happening in our body. Our level of cortisol, the stress hormone, surges through our brain when we are in uncomfortable situations. Our basic instinct kicks in, and we want to just leave quietly – no one will notice we weren’t in the staffroom or at the workshop. The reptilian part of our brain that is set up for survival goes into fight, flight or freeze mode when we feel uncomfortable or threatened. This impacts on our ability to think clearly and stay calm while we work

out the best solution. Our level of self-awareness of what is happening and our reaction to the situation helps us decided on the best course of action to take – do we leave or stay? If we stay, what do we do to reduce the feeling of being uncomfortable and wanting to leave? How do we become self-aware of our emotions that are dictating our actions and manage them?

In the earlier examples, if someone we know comes into the room and offers us a chair we would have a rush of dopamine flood our brain – the happy hormone would come to the rescue of our awkwardness. We would relax, smile, say thank you, make eye contact, possibly make small talk. We would feel calmer and perhaps look for someone else to make eye contact with or initiate a conversation. Our relaxed brain is a thinking brain that uses our ability to converse as a tool to attain that sense of belonging – to feel like we have a friend. We know that Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs recognises the importance of belonging to build that sense of confidence and supports and boosts our self-esteem.