Arababa
5 WAYS TO HELP KIDS COPE
WHEN THEIR FRIENDS MOVE AWAY
BY ARABBABA
with your children. Ask about their
friends, what they are doing, exciting
things they talk about. Discuss how
important their ‘friendship network’ is
and how to make it mutually beneficial.
When a move happens.
T
he
majority
of
people
reading this are from another
country. We become ‘expats’
to provide for our families,
see different parts of the world and
introduce our children to the wide
array of cultures that are around us
every day.
By introducing our children as well as
ourselves to new people, we have the
opportunity to forge ties that can last
a lifetime.
But, there is also the time when many
of those people, make a choice to
move on , either back to their home
countries, a new school, a new
country, etc.
For adults, we understand it. We
may not like it, but we understand it.
We understand that even though we
have made some good friendships,
people will eventually move on and
we may or may not keep in touch. For
our children, it can be very different
regardless of age.
Children can sometimes live in that
bubble. Everything revolves around
them. You remember when you were
growing up and going out with your
friends and playing until dark and to
this day, you are still friends with them.
They were important and pivotal
relationships growing up.
can be a real blow to them.
Here are a few ideas to help them cope
with this often difficult situation. Take
a note that this also applies to our local
friends who, unfortunately, have to see
many of us leave the country as well.
Introduce your children to
as many other children as
possible
Get them working the social circle as
quickly as possible. The more friends
the merrier. Arrange play dates and
study buddies. Some may only want
one friend, but having many allows
for more variety in their relationship
building.
Discuss why we live where we
live.
Have regular discussions with your
children about the choice made to live
where we live. Why it is interesting,
culturally rich, adventurous, full of so
many opportunities to meet people
from all walks of life.
Talk about the value of
friendship.
Keep open lines of communication
But when a child knows their best
friend ‘BFF’ is leaving the country, it
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After The Bell
Whether it is your own family that
moves away or your friends who
leave, it’s important to do one thing
– LISTEN. They will have questions,
they will be emotional, they may be
angry.
These are all normal and
there is no way to solve the situation,
other than by just simply listening to
them and empathising. Bring your
own feelings in, if you are also losing
the parents who are friends to the
move, too.
Make a Plan
We are lucky enough to be in a tech
age where we can communicate via
email and the various social media
platforms. We are one swipe away
from shortening that distance for
our kids.
Work with the parents to start
off with emails or other social
communication
options
once
per week at least. Then they can
continue to communicate together.
Give them the options to talk on the
phone periodically to catch up. Why
not use ‘snail mail’? It was always
exciting getting a ‘real’ letter. This
will make the transition much easier
on them and also on you.
We are very fortunate to meet
different people every day. And, if
those relationships last a lifetime, we
are lucky. If they don’t, it certainly
made a difference for the time we had.
These messages are important to
convey to our children. Keep them
going!
Mostafa (ArabBaba) is a teacher by profession. He has been an Arab Stay-
At-Home-Baba (Dad) to his two daughters. He is also a blogger, who is on a
mission to prove that Parental Engagement is vital to the process of children’s
education. For more on ArabBaba, visit www.ArabBaba.org.