Bella
Dear Maryann,
Dear Maryann,
I have a nosey neighbor who watches as I come and
go. I’m a single woman, and I have lots of friends
from Australia who I entertain at my home. I don’t
like being alone. I throw these weekly dinner parties
that last until the next morning. It gets a little raucous,
but it's innocent. However, when my friends leave my
neighbor is standing outside giving dirty looks. Her
spying and giving me the evil eye is so rude. How
can I tell her to leave me alone without creating an
enemy?
I’ve been in the UAE for almost 5 years teaching. I’m originally
from the States. My contract may end soon and I am faced with
going back home to live with family. However, I don’t have enough
money to move alone anywhere else, or stay in the UAE without a
job. What do I do? I feel trapped!
Looking at the front door,
Charmaine
Charmaine,
Loving Life,
Emma
Have you asked what her concerns are? You don’t
want enemies that live so close to you. Smooth
this out as soon as possible. Here are some ideas:
consider having monthly dinner parties, instead of
weekly; make them brunches or if they must be at
night, end them a few hours earlier. Put yourself in
her shoes. What if you had a neighbour who had
lots of people in and out at all hours of the night
– and day? I assume these guests have cars? This
all may really be a parking issue, and not so much
that she is nosey. Ask your friends to carpool, if
possible. The next time you have a dinner party,
invite her. Sometimes, people just want to be
acknowledged. This simple gesture may change
everything.
Be grateful that you have a family to go back home to. From
what it sounds like, it may not be what you’ve envisioned, but
it is reality. Let’s deal with that. You failed to have a good exit
strategy – a must for any situation that is new and ever changing.
A good exit strategy is saving at least 3 months of your salary
for emergencies. You need to keep your job or get a new one.
Start looking, perhaps in other countries that carry the same
benefits, package, etc. Have you made any contacts in your 5
years that can help you transition? Don’t feel uncomfortable
asking your friends, contacts, old and new, for help. As you may
have noticed, knowing the right people can go a long way. If
you don’t have money or relationships, what have you been
doing all this time? If not, going back home is all you can handle
now. This lack of planning and lack of relationships is a sign that
you’re hiding or playing small to avoid hurt or disappointment.
I’m afraid it may take a while to fix something that has been
broken for so long. Consider going back home, getting a new
job, and starting over. Sometimes, all we need is a fresh start to
get a breakthrough
Maryann
Maryann
Emma,
Maryann Reid, educator and lifestyle expert from
New York, can be reached at [email protected]
After The Bell
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May - Jun 2016
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