Information prepared by the Project Gutenberg legal advisor 13
Sirrah , go you to Barthol ' mew my page , And see him dress ' d in all suits like a lady ; That done , conduct him to the drunkard ' s chamber , And call him ' madam ,' do him obeisance . Tell him from me--as he will win my love , -- He bear himself with honourable action , Such as he hath observ ' d in noble ladies Unto their lords , by them accomplished ; Such duty to the drunkard let him do , With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy , And say ' What is ' t your honour will command , Wherein your lady and your humble wife May show her duty and make known her love ?' And then with kind embracements , tempting kisses , And with declining head into his bosom , Bid him shed tears , as being overjoy ' d To see her noble lord restor ' d to health , Who for this seven years hath esteemed him No better than a poor and loathsome beggar . And if the boy have not a woman ' s gift To rain a shower of commanded tears , An onion will do well for such a shift , Which , in a napkin being close convey ' d , Shall in despite enforce a watery eye . See this dispatch ' d with all the haste thou canst ; Anon I ' ll give thee more instructions .
[ Exit SERVANT .]
I know the boy will well usurp the grace , Voice , gait , and action , of a gentlewoman ; I long to hear him call the drunkard husband ; And how my men will stay themselves from laughter When they do homage to this simple peasant . I ' ll in to counsel them ; haply my presence May well abate the over-merry spleen , Which otherwise would grow into extremes .
[ Exeunt .]
SCENE II . A bedchamber in the LORD ' S house .
[ SLY is discovered in a rich nightgown , with ATTENDANTS : some with apparel , basin , ewer , and other appurtenances ; and LORD , dressed like a servant .]
SLY . For God ' s sake ! a pot of small ale . FIRST SERVANT . Will ' t please your lordship drink a cup of sack ?