JOKES/TRIVIA
Light Moments
Holy One
A priest rushed from church one day
to keep a golf date. He was halfway
down the first fairway, waiting to
hit his second shot, when he heard
“Fore!” and a ball slammed into his
back. Soon, the golfer who had
made the drive was on the scene to
offer his apologies. When the priest
assured him that he was all right,
the man smiled. “Thank goodness,
Father!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been
playing this game for forty years, and
now I can finally tell my friends that
I’ve hit my first holy one!”
You’ll be pre-occupied and won’t be
able to think of anything else.”
He added, “But don’t worry, it’s
perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”
Wisdom
If you find you do not mind playing
golf in the rain, the snow, even
during a storm, here’s a valuable tip:
your life is in trouble.
An interesting thing about golf is that
no matter how badly you play; it is
always possible to get worse.
Golf Definitions Golf is the only sport where the most
feared opponent is you.
• Golf: A 5 mile walk punctuated
with disappointments The best wood in most amateurs’
bags is the pencil.
• Fairway: An unfamiliar tract of
closely mowed grass running from
the tee to the green. Your ball is
usually found immediately to the
left or right of it If you think it’s hard to meet people,
try picking up the wrong ball on the
golf course sometime.
• Practice Tee: A place where golfers
go to convert a nasty hook into a
wicked slice
• Golf can best be defined as
an endless series of tragedies
obscured by the occasional miracle,
followed by a good bottle of beer.
Fatherly Advice
A father spoke to his son, “It’s time
we had a little talk, my son.
Soon, you will have urges and
feelings you’ve never had before.
Your heart will pound and your hands
will sweat.
I’m a scratch golfer. Every time I
hit the ball, I scratch my head and
wonder where it went
The higher a golfer’s handicap, the
more likely he is to try to tell you
what you’re doing wrong.
A good golf partner is one who’s
always a little bit worse than you are.
The only problem with golf is that
the slow groups are always in front
of you and the fast groups are always
behind you.
What are the four worst words you
could hear during a game of golf? It’s
still your turn
GOLFaholic
You know you’re a GOLFaholic if...
• You think that someday you’ll
shoot your age, when a more
realistic goal would be to shoot
your weight!
• You know there’s more to life than
golf, but your’e not interested in
finding out what it is!
• You quit the game forever, twice a
month!
• You buy every new golf gizmo that
comes out!
• You think you’re skillful and
everybody else is lucky!
• You miss the ball, but still think it
was a great swing!
• The new clubs you just bough t
cost more than your mortgage and
car payment combined!
• You can’t break a 100 but still think
you could give Tiger a few tips
Golf Facts
• A golf ball will travel further on hot
days, because the air is less dense,
so it takes less velocity to travel.
• Golf balls used to be made from
leather and chicken or goose
feathers.
• Until the invention and rising
popularity of the golf tee, golfers
played off sand piles they built
themselves.
Source: Online
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