The key to developing positive body image is to
recognize and respect our natural shape and learn how
to ride the emotional waves that are a part of everyone’s
life – no matter who we are or what we look like.
You can’t get rid of the waves, though you can learn to surf.
Some surfing tools include being affirming, and accepting
of yourself and others and remembering to cultivate and
nurture your appearance on the inside too.
This may involve others commenting negatively about
themselves, or even directly on the child’s appearance. It’s
vitally important family members be kind to each other. It
just takes one comment to be the straw that breaks the
camels back.
It’s important we help our children to develop a strong
sense of self and positive body image from a young age.
Low self-worth can lead to emotional distress, which
can tempt young people to look to the outside for a
solution, such as changing or controlling their physical
appearance in the hope they will feel better about
themselves. We all have an important role to assist our
young people to become informed about the dangers of
focusing on the body, which is so often encouraged by the
media, peer attitudes and even the home environment.
As we get older, we internalise what we see and hear around
us and this then forms the dialogue for our internal world.
So let’s all do our part to ensure those messages reflect
acceptance, compassion and a focus on who we are; not
what we look like. Recognising our feelings and effective
self-expression builds our self-worth and minimises the
risk of negative body image in a way that honours who we
are, as well as those around us.
• Be aware of your own body image messages and
relationship to food
The current information age is definitely something
to look out for as children are increasingly exposed at an
earlier age to cultural ideals of body image, which are
heading further away from reality. Many forms of social
media encourage the behaviour of presenting yourself
as your physical image (such as selfies) and this creates
a stage for comparison and expectation through rating
these images (number of ‘likes’). I can feel the pressure
such a concept could create for young people just writing
about it!
• Encourage self-expression of differing opinions, as
well as how they are feeling emotionally, to foster
a healthy and valued sense of self. This includes
teaching children healthy ways to respond to their
emotions (e.g.; asking for and receiving support in
response to sadness/fear/anxiety).
Research also demonstrates that negative attitudes
towards physical appearance by parents, older siblings,
and caregivers can have a direct impact on children’s views
of themselves.
So how can parents and carers be more responsible for
developing positive body image in their children from an
early age (we are talking as young as 3!)?
• Use mindfulness principles in terms of acceptance,
rather than comparisons and judgements
• Avoid describing food as good/bad, healthy/
unhealthy. In contrast, describing food as ‘often’ and
‘occasional’ minimising negative emotions around
eating such as guilt, shame and embarrassment
• Create open dialogue with your children about the
images presented in popular media (even children’s
storybooks) and educate them about the intent of
advertising
• Talk with your children about the conversations
that may be happening with peers in relation to
body image and encourage them to express how
they feel in response to these conversations
Finally, if you are concerned about yourself or someone
you know, please seek professional assistance. The longer
unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviours persist, the
more challenging it can be to develop, self-acceptance, a
strong sense of self and a healthy dose of self worth.
Listen to Helen’s podcast
Dr. Helen Mursell Clinical Psychologist & Family Therapist
Helen is a client-centred practitioner with highly developed interpersonal skills. Her
practice is based on the core belief that a key ingredient for recovery is the development of a strong sense of self through self-compassion. Helen works collaboratively
with her clients, supporting them to use their own competencies to become experts
about the ‘self’. While Helen was initially trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy,
she has found the use of Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy and Schema-Based
Cognitive therapy to be essential for the treatment of clients with a long-standing
history of eating disorders or disordered eating. She also employs the principles
of Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Narrative Therapy, and Interpersonal Therapy.
A significant component of Helen’s family work involves strengthening communication
through encouraging open transparent dialogue that reflects mutual respect.
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