summer magazine 2024 | Page 19

I am just fourteen Turning fifteen in five days .

I sleep , and sleep , and sleep .

“ Is ladki ka kya ho ga ”.

So , I question myself how this new year shall go , Because all I have ever known , has flown away into such a blur . A vague and tiering blur .

I wake up late for school , Then hassle to get ready , Don ’ t eat breakfast and run to the buss . “ Is ladki ka kya ho ga ”.

My mind is like a cloudy sky , where I do not see well A with countless spontaneous ideas ,

I get a little disorganized , With a seemingly tornado swept room . “ Is ladki ka kya ho ga ”.

With the clear ideas hidden beneath layers of gray A place where your goal seems too far to

I fail to finish tasks on time ,

I lag , and lag , and lag . pursue . With an excess of ambitious feelings , Only not knowing what for .

My speed fluctuates , from a chemtrail that slit across the sky , to the speed of a slot .

It is as confusing as a riddle with no answer . Though as much as I would not like to admit , The blur is exactly me in my year of fourteen .

I absolutely have no idea what I want to do with my life , “ Na jane , Is ladki ka kya ho ga .” “ No wander , what will happen to this girl ”

Some people call it the teenage phase , but I call it simply a blur .

Though I find this concern understandable . I mean I admit that I don ’ t even know , what

The blur takes place all the time ,

I want to peruse with my life .

But some instances that feel the same to me . Though just to some people it ’ s a little more concerning . That is why I don ’ t understand parenting .

But it is ok , It is ok to struggle . It is ok to make mistakes . It is ok to have ups and downs .

For instance , I fall asleep while studying , With the light still on ,

It is ok to be in this misty blur . After all I am just a about to be 15-year-old teenager

And piles books on my bed . “ Is ladki ka kya ho ga ”.

So , my goal for year 15 is to embrace my path of life .

I order takeout , on a Friday night . “ Is ladki ka kya ho ga ”.

To allow myself to improve , While making mistakes . To be me .